I experience connections as deep and real, but they end not in intentional closure but in disappearance. This is my compulsive repetition of courting and failing to avoid abandonment.

Looking at porn to feel sad.

‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Remembering my mother.

People often think I’m arrogant. I think they’re wrong.

My mother left me, and I can’t stop remembering it.

Relationships lead to loss. Jealousy is how I remind myself of that certainty.

Marina offered me more than she could deliver. And I tried to take it. All.

A glimpse into my tastes for personal porn production among my distant buddies.

Impermanence is the one constant. And Marina has reminded me of this.