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A tour of the rub-and-tug establishments of my past, from the grim to the almost classy.

Not all of what I write is true. But all of it is real.

Eighteen thousand page views, a few charts, and proof of what a complete and total geek I am.

The things people google to find me are, mostly, parsing errors. But one searcher, I truly want to meet.

Michel Houellebecq, natural selection, and the frustrating economics of getting laid as a straight man.

I give an assignment: pack for a week away with me. Every layer, every accessory, every toy. Don’t hold back.

A piano player, a dark bar, a plane ticket, and a pair of panties balled up in my pocket.

A hiccough, a drink with her husband, and we’re back in business.

A fantasy I sent to a woman I hadn’t yet met.