Territory
The Social World
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Distant buddy trust-building, in real time
Read moreI threw S under the bus, and she called me on it. Now I’m earning her trust back, one picture at a time.
An unnamed sex party
Read moreOf course the sex party was in a synagogue. For this secular Jew, it felt like coming home.
Le trapeze, once more
Read moreA hot night at Le Trapeze. On this evening, I departed from my usual habit of limiting my sexual activity to my date….
Trust and distant buddies (ii)
Read moreEstablishing trust with distant buddies, women I’ve never met and may never meet, can be a challenge.
On distance, virtual relationships, and trust (i)
Read moreLiza asked how my long-distance relationships evolve from tawdry to something more. The answer, it turns out, is slowly, unevenly, and with a certain melancholy.
The oxford comma
Read moreThe Oxford comma: secret handshake of the monogamish.
Poly cocktails
Read moreSocializing at a poly event plays to exactly none of my strengths.
On being a slut
Read moreI call myself a slut, but the truth is more complicated — and more Groucho Marx than easy lay.
Creep shot
Read moreA woman on the subway I couldn’t stop looking at.
Sugar daddies/sugar babies
Read moreWhat I really missed wasn’t sex — it was seduction.
Creep shot
Read moreI couldn’t not look. And I couldn’t not tell you what I saw.
Sex tips for the repressed – part 2
Read moreAcceptance has gotten me further than communication or compromise ever did.
Eulogy for a fling
Read moreLetting go of L, and envying her ability to let go of me.
Love
Read moreLove is hard when four people are involved and only three of them are fine with it.
Monogamish sex
Read moreT and I find ourselves with rare, kid-free hours, and spend them in a tangle of laptops, oral sex, emailed fantasies, and the complicated arithmetic of compersion.
Ethical non-monogamy
Read moreThere’s a tendency to imagine some objective standard of ethical behavior against which we should measure others. I’m not buying it.
Paying for it
Read moreA graphic novel about being a john, found on a neighbor’s doorstep — and what it gets right, and wrong, about the humanity of paying for sex.
Noms de…
Read moreNoms de whatever: the evolution from hiding behind “Grey” to being liberated by “N. Likes.”
Creepshot
Read moreI saw her, and I couldn’t not look.
Ruthlessness
Read moreSex is best when we use one another ruthlessly, and that’s precisely why it’s so hard with the people we love most.
