Top ten reasons sex bloggers blog sex

10) We have secrets we need to expose to sunlight while preserving some anonymity.

9) We’re exhibitionists who get off on revealing in public what usually is private.*

8) We’re attention whores.*

7) Writing about (our) sex gets us hard, wet, off.

6) It lets us participate in a broader community centered on joyful, open love of sex.

5) We don’t know (any more) how not to.

4) We secretly (or not so secretly) think we’re better than all of you readers with your vanilla, mundane sex lives.

3) We’re genuinely proud of our sex lives, and believe the world benefits from knowing more about them.

2) We’re insufferable, self-important, ego-centric, narcissistic libertines who exist without benefit of either social filter or superego.

1) We hope it’ll get us laid (by our wives, husbands, partners, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends, or strangers).



*  Note difference between an exhibitionist, for whom the thrill is in the act of the revelation, and an attention whore, for whom the thrill is in the attendant interest s/he is shown.


      1. #10 the most. There are exactly two people that know about my inclinations in the bedroom. Although I like it that way, and I have my reasons; I feel the need to share it with someone.
        #6 Next, because no one knows, I feel shut off from the world of what we do. Blogging keeps me connected with like minded people. It is a joy.
        #5, Even when I can’t blog because life is in the way, I miss it like crazy. Once I am back, I feel a sense of homecoming. Amazingly I have managed to forge some relationships here, and I hate to be away for too long.
        #3, I hate to admit it, but I am quite proud of what I have managed to obtain. It is more than what I could have dreamed of. If my writing gets just one person to explore one thing, that would make me happy.

  1. Except for number 10, I can not identify with any of these. Not anymore, Maybe years ago when I first started blogging. Number 2 makes me ill and centers primarily as the reason why I am pulling away from sex blogging/bloggers.

  2. Whilst I do (did?) write sexual stories I don’t write my own sex life. I wouldn’t have sex with anyone who explicitly blogged or tweeted their sex life. I also find a catalogue or ‘diary’ of sex acts pretty dull reading, frankly. Few are able to make it any more interesting than the washing up and that has nothing to do with whether they are kinky or vanilla. I enjoy sex blogging when the writer (yourself, Molly, some few others) uses their writing to show an insight into their kinks or their relationship and then it becomes about more than ‘he put his foot there, I stuck my finger up there’. Likewise in visual blogs there are some which are clearly made for both participants to share and their kick is doing that where others can see. The consensual nature of those blogs is a prerequisite. In writing that does not always seem to be considered.
    Sex positivity, for me, is not linked to preferences for exhibitionism or privacy. I love my community of online and ‘real’ life friends (not that my online friends aren’t real, but we haven’t always physically met yet) and I enjoy the conversations we have about sex as much as any other subject. I just don’t have a need to explicitly share my own sex life to enjoy those conversations and I am fortunate to have friends who respect that even if they don’t see the need.
    Sex blogging may in part be about the need to write. But you can do that with a notebook and pen. It’s about a need for others to read that writing. And in too many cases there is altogether too much neediness in that need.

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