Masochism

I use the word “masochism” differently than you do.

The other side of the “I’m arrogant” story.

What is it that draws me to women who make me feel bad, who fail to keep me in mind in the ways for which I long?

I have a tropism toward drama.

Perversion curses those who suffer it to a brutally masochistic fugue of repetition and hurt.

Maybe Marina isn’t so brutal and sadistic after all…. Maybe I am the brutal, sadistic one.

Rollercoasters and relationships.

I torture myself.

A glimpse, maybe, into how, and why, I do things that produce nothing but suffering.