Desire

Every time a woman sends me a photo, my heart leaps – and I stop believing there’s something wrong with me.

I can’t take my eyes off the tiny blonde at Crunch. Every line I could open with sounds creepy — so I say nothing.

I’m surfing new relationship energy again, and the disappointments are half the thrill.

Gangbangs don’t turn me on. But I’ve been conjuring one for Margot, and I want a very particular seat at it.

Mostly I feel dead, and both my knees need replacing — then Margot, Jade, and an email from P out of the blue.

Anything I buy for you belongs to me as long as we know each other. I can see you in what I get you when I want, and I’d prefer you not wear them with other men while we’re involved.

A job description for a submissive assistant role, outlining responsibilities, qualifications, compensation. and the application process.

I can’t have this fantasy – Margot isn’t available unless I pay. So here are three versions of it anyway.

I reflect on a conversation with Margot about her unrealized fantasy of double penetration and a gangbang, realizing what excites me isn’t the act itself but the trust she’d place in me to keep her safe while curating such an evening — and the gratitude that might follow.

Rethinking an old concept