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Gangbangs don’t turn me on. But I’ve been conjuring one for Margot, and I want a very particular seat at it.

Mostly I feel dead, and both my knees need replacing — then Margot, Jade, and an email from P out of the blue.

Anything I buy for you belongs to me as long as we know each other. I can see you in what I get you when I want, and I’d prefer you not wear them with other men while we’re involved.

A job description for a submissive assistant role, outlining responsibilities, qualifications, compensation. and the application process.

Aging sucks, but it beats the alternative.

No, I’m not letting a robot write my blog. All those M-dashes are just how the transcription comes out.

Jade will wear anything I buy her, and lingerie sites are a nightmare — so I built my own.

I built myself an infinite porn library, and it’s teaching me more about the future of the internet than anything else I’ve seen in years.

I went out with my old friend Judd — both of us in open marriages — to a lively cocktail bar with the half-joking aim of flirting. We met a group of women at the bar, including one particularly fun blonde, and I reflected on the rarity of having a true wingman and the ongoing question of whether Sydney will call.

I can’t have this fantasy – Margot isn’t available unless I pay. So here are three versions of it anyway.