During the first Trump administration, my libido was quite low for much of the four years. There were external and bodily reasons for this – among them, my 50th birthday, a major back surgery, a global pandemic, and a bunch more. Nonetheless, in that time, I definitely understood Trump as being a significant contributor to my diminished desire.
In Trump II, my desire once again has ebbed.
In February of 2025, less than a month after Trump’s inauguration, I had my sapphic soiree. At the time, I imagined it might be the beginning of something. A series, perhaps, of adventures. In the event, it was much more of a last hurrah.
I had a couple of more dates with Saya after that. But really, that was about it.
I haven’t had any of what T and I have come to call “spousally approved sex on the side” (or “SASS”) in months. I’m barely active in pursuing it.
Until just a few days ago, I imagined this was a function of my advancing age.
And it might be.
I’ve noticed, recently, the ease with which pornography accomplishes my primary libidinal goal, which is really to awaken my cock from slumber, stir it just enough, and then come. That’s really the sum total of my libido in the current moment. A sort of hunger to feel alive in a sexual way that is born not of desire, but of deadness.
So I had been thinking this primarily a symptom of my age until the last few days. I’m not sure how the realization gelled in my mind. It certainly had something to do with Iran and the genocide President Trump threatened. But I had the seeming epiphany that just as in 2018, 2019, and 2020, in the last couple of years, the horrifying news emanating from Washington and around the country has quelled any desire that might threaten to arise.
It’s not that I don’t feel like desire would be good in the current moment. I know those who might say something along the lines of, “How can you engage in sex at a time like this?” That’s not what I mean. What I mean, rather, is that it’s hard for me to summon desire when we’re in the midst of a national car wreck, one that is literally killing thousands of people.
That’s what I mean.