As sometimes happens to me, I’m a bit overwhelmed with things about which I want to write.
At the same time, I’m under-endowed with time in which to write.
- I have so much I want to say about Serena, both about her, about our relationship, and, maybe most interesting to me, about what I learned about myself over the course of, and in the wake of, the end of our relationship.
- There’s also Milica, who burned so hot and so bright, but who has had circumstances transpire in her life which have pulled her away from me. I can’t help but imagine that the pulling away is likely to become something permanent, and not, as she has repeatedly insisted, something temporary. With Milica, my feelings are somewhat more attenuated than with Serena. Our relationship was more emotionally bounded, more purely sexual, and so, while I mourn its fading, the pain of its loss is less acute, less intense.
- In some ways, though, the most interesting topic about which I crave to write is my core fantasy. I’ve written about it before, of course, but because reasons, it’s a very live subject in my mind today. I suspect you’ll be hearing a bit about it, or reading a bit about it, in the coming days, but at the moment, I’m a bit overwhelmed with all the angles from which I want to come at it. I had ChatGPT make an outline for me of all the writing tasks that I would accomplish if I had infinite time on the subject, and the outline itself is two pages long. Just topics, never mind substance. So you see, there’s a lot, and as sometimes happens when there’s a lot, I find myself unable to write even a single word.