Happy birthday, Charlotte

I got Charlotte a couple of small birthday gifts. A sketching pad. A puzzle. A little lingerie.

I kept two items of lingerie, though, as incentives. 

Charlotte and I are struggling to reestablish a little of the dominance and submission that have been so central to our ways of relating from the start. We both feel safer when we are in that mode. But as our relationship has become more three-dimensional, we inevitably have drifted toward more egalitarian ways of interacting. Which are all well and good. But which aren’t, actually, what brought us together, what make us feel safe, what make things fun and exciting, what keep us together.

What does all that? It’s simple. It’s Charlotte turning over certain decisions to me, and then executing those decisions as I ask. When she does that, she feels safe, held; I feel safe, held. And it’s hot.

So.

Earning options:

Prerequisite:

She has to suck my cock eagerly, enthusiastically, for two solid hours. We’ve discussed lengthy cock-sucking before. Very early on, we experimented with making the act of sucking my cock more affirmatively fun, and enjoyed some success. And it’s not that Charlotte doesn’t like sucking my cock. She does. Rather, it’s that she’s pretty fundamentally – and understandably – goal-oriented. The idea that the goal is for me not to come is foreign to her. So we shall work on this some more. (Incidentally, this isn’t about symmetry. I definitely have spent many more hours with my head between Charlotte’s thighs than the other way round. And that’s just excellent by me. I’m not looking to punish Charlotte, or to “even things out.” No. I just want her to spend a delighted, happy, two hours with my cock at the center of her universe, her mouth at the center of mine. With orgasm as the end point, not the goal.)

When she has done this, she will be eligible to earn her remaining gifts. By choosing two from among these three possibilities:

1. Formal compliance. A while ago, we created two forms, to help Charlotte keep me up to speed on her interactions with other men. One updates me on texting/other interactions with guys. The other, on actual dates. Charlotte likes filling in the forms. I like it when she fills them in. But. For some reason, Charlotte has insisted on my reminding her to fill in the texting forms far more often than not. And while this may serve a purpose for her, it eviscerates the value of the form – demonstrating to me her desire to make me know what’s happening, her desire to attend to my fears, insecurities, vulnerabilities – if I have to remind her. So. For two weeks, Charlotte will ensure that I get my form at least once a day. Doesn’t matter when. But there will not pass a day on the calendar when I don’t get the form. Could be morning one day, evening the next. But my little spreadsheet will have at least one entry per calendar day. And this will happen without my having to remind her. When it has, for fourteen consecutive days, she will have checked a box.

2. Related. Charlotte knows I like to see her dress for me, to see her pretty body as she adds items to it, as she progresses from nude to dressed sexy. (She almost always looks sexy dressed, almost always dresses sexy.) This too, though, she struggles to remember. She forgets. She is in a hurry. She promises she’ll show me as she dresses and then, minutes or hours later, forgets to do so. Or she “doesn’t get dressed” – working from home. But this is wrong. She sleeps nude. She works clothed. I don’t care what she’s wearing; I want to see her dress herself.

For two weeks, Charlotte won’t miss a day. She will, on her own, without a reminder, give me what by now she knows I want, what I’ve asked her for repeatedly.

When she does this, she will have checked a box.

3. Dates. Charlotte has dates. I tolerate this. More than tolerate – I endure it. Not always gracefully. But. I never tell her not to go on dates. I never seek to constrain her. But. I want just a reminder of the degree of my ownership before and after her dates – and as close as possible to the start and end of those dates. For two weeks, Charlotte will, prior to every date she goes on, both a) show me as she dresses for her date, and b) come for me, dressed, before leaving. And, subsequent to every date, she will send me a photo of her pretty face and fill in our “date form.” ASAP. Without my having to ask. And prior to interacting with me in any other way.

When she does this, she will have checked a box.

And. When Charlotte has checked two of these three boxes, she will earn the lingerie I have bought her. This. And this.

And we both will have won.

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