Advice

There are two basic principles I find it helpful to bear in mind in relationships: first, relationships are co-constructions of two people. If there are aspects of a relationship that make me unhappy, it’s almost always more productive for me…

I recently read a number of lists targeted at general audiences about “how to know your relationship is in trouble.” These lists are almost always misleading and unhelpful, to my mind: there’s an easy way to know your relationship is…

Dear female reader who is starting off on SeekingArrangement (henceforth in this post, “SA”): I learned a few lessons in my time as a CPOS, and I thought you might benefit from them.* 1. Everyone lies. This is true in…

My good friend, Liza, who has a plethora of blogs (with the lovely Livia Writes) and Tumblrs and Twitter accounts (I’ve lost count, honestly) asked, on Twitter, “Q for kinky friends: what’s it like when you fall into a rut…

A friend writes. She’s trying to get her boyfriend to be rougher with her, but “he doesn’t seem to get it.” She wants to be spanked, but “he hasn’t really done so.” He says it’s because of his roommates, because…

This is the kind of question I have wet dreams about being asked. But asked it I was. I gave a flip answer – “I know that you don’t worship mine enough.” And then I drew out my questioner. She…

Advice on sex clubs. As in, what would the etiquette be, would it be wise to establish ground rules with your partner before going, (like ‘i don’t want to share you but i’m ok with others watching us’ type thing)…

Liza & N. Likes are pleased to bring you: Monagamy.  Ish. In the months since we’ve been blogging, you’ve gotten to know us a little bit. And in that time, if you read both our blogs (Liza writes “Always Each Other,”…

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about a recent trip to Le Trapeze.  Today, in the comments to that post, I received the following: hi- not much of a comment but more of a bunch of questions. cuz you’ve…

I wrote the other day a bit about the ways in which communication is overvalued among advice-givers.  That post was primarily directed at individuals, at ashamed, isolated people who have a troubled relationship to their own desires. There’s a whole other…