Musing

I don’t get off on breaking the rules. I want everyone — every lover, every partner — to be just fine with everything I do. Risk scares me. It doesn’t excite me.

Woody Allen makes me uncomfortable, and I’d rather not think about why.

Blaming addicts for their addictions is unhelpful. Judgment is just emotional dishonesty repackaged as truth.

Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death, and what I know about not being able to not.

Some thoughts on rape shield laws, hearsay, and why confronting one’s rapist in court shouldn’t be the price of justice.

I was wrong about Ashley Madison.

A reader in her 40s asks whether I prefer younger women. The honest answer is complicated, and has to do with the difference between 2-D and 3-D.

I used to reply to every message instantly — in work, in dating, in sexting. Now I’ve learned that the space between messages can be more charged than the messages themselves.

A taxonomy of sexual commitment — what we promise, what we pretend, and what we actually mean.

Steve Martin’s “The Cruel Shoes,” and why I’d rather see a woman in flats than in heels.