Box Truck Sex?

I recently received an e-mail from “Kayla” that began thus-ly:

“Hello, N! I recently came across My Dissolute Life, and I love your some of the hot images you’ve found – and the stories behind them.” Kayla went on to invite me to the “affiliate program” for the porn site she’s promoting, BoxTruckSex.

I should say, I get e-mails like this not infrequently. Once in a while, for porn sites; more often, for sex toy sites. The premise is invariably the same. Would I write a post or two, and post some pictures, and they’d be glad to give me some words and/or photos I can put on my site? I’ll make money by joining their affiliate program, and get paid every time a reader of mine joins their web site. Or buys their toys. Or maybe I’d just like to have their help in adding fine quality content to my site.

Now here’s the thing: I know my readers. Ain’t none of you joining BoxTruckSex (or buying toys from the sites that target me, or digging the content they hope to provide). I have to say, it’s hard for me to imagine anyone joining BoxTruckSex – except, I suppose, for people for whom this particular conceit (couples having sex in a box truck, the walls of which are one-way transparent, providing the fuckers with the sensation of fucking in public, without actually being visible to passersby) is somehow catnip. The world, I suppose, is big enough that there surely are people for whom this conceit is catnip. But it’s hard to imagine that it’s big enough for that population to support a web site like this. And certainly, the Venn diagram overlap with readers of this blog is tiny. (If you’re interested, keep reading. But caution: the images that follow are not stylistically in keeping with the images generally found on this blog.)

Anyway: Kayla and I went back and forth. I didn’t want her money, but I was interested in the web site, in getting free access to it. She checked with her colleagues, and they decided that was fair. The deal she proposed was that I post four photos from their web site on my Tumblr, with links back, and one post here, on my blog, about the site. In exchange for that, I’d get a month’s free access. Sounded like a bargain to me. (I have two other Tumblrs, too: my gifs Tumblr and my “funny porn” Tumblr. But I was just targeting my plain vanilla photos Tumblr for this purpose.)

But then came the challenge: I had to put four photos from their web site on my Tumblr. I curate my Tumblr carefully. It has a look, a sensibility, a hotness. And the pictures Kayla sent me were… not conforming to that sensibility. I won’t speak ill of the pictures she sent, but I’ll say this: where my Tumblr tends to feature soft light, subtlety, and a complete absence of silicone, every picture Kayla sent was harshly lighted, completely explicit, and silicone-filled. For your edification (and to promote their web site in good faith), I have reproduced below all of the pictures Kayla suggested:

Somehow, I had the sense that the praise she had offered in her initial e-mail might not have been praise uniquely and specifically directed to me. “May I see some less explicit shots?” I wrote back. “If you look at my Tumblrs, you’ll see that these would look out of place…. If need be, I’ll post them, but I think we can find something that’s a better fit if we try.”

In response to which, she sent these:

Somehow, I was failing to communicate, it seemed. I replied, “The Katie Montana shots in which she is not nude – the one in her bra, and the one in which she cups her breasts – are good. Are there any others you can give me that are less explicit, but suggestive?”

And more was, as you might imagine, forthcoming:

I really don’t know what to say.

This web site is interesting, I suppose. It’s not my style, but that’s not a criticism. It’s more like an objectively observable fact. The site has literally nothing in common with the tastes of mine that are on display on this blog, or on my Tumblrs.

If you like, good for you. Enjoy. I hope they do well, because, you know, I like people. But as much as I like free porn, I can’t imagine ever would pay for this content.

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