What makes me NOT sexy

It doesn’t feel right to toot my horn. I’m working on a post, inspired by Cammies on the Floor, about what it is that makes me sexy. But I learned a valuable lesson in 12-step land: lead with your weakness.

So, before I tell you, explicitly, all the things that make me sexy, let me start by telling you some of my less sexy attributes.


I can be arrogant. My voice often belies my stated humility, telegraphing that, even though I say I’m humble, modest, open, in fact, in my heart of hearts, I generally believe not just that I’m right, but that I’m better. This is, surely, born of insecurity and fear.

Related, I can be smug. Try though I might, I can’t wipe a smirk off my face.

I can be narcissistically myopic. I often find it difficult to imagine that things I see clearly aren’t clear to all. Sometimes, this is a question of perspective. Others, a question of delusion. It’s never charming. (See the discussion of creep shots a few years ago.)


I can be unimaginably selfish. My years as a CPOS serve as irrefutable evidence of this. And, would that my selfishness had died. It hasn’t.

I can be excruciatingly stubborn. I can be deeply unpleasant to argue with.

I’m manipulative. I try to organize the world to serve my desires. And I’m shockingly successful.

I’m weak. I’m a creature of my desires, far more than I’d like to be.


I weigh ten or fifteen pounds more than I’d like. I have a little belly. Not huge, but I’m not as trim as I’d like. A few years ago, I was pretty cut. Not so much right now.

I’m shorter than I’d like. Average height, to be sure. But I wish I were taller.

I’m bald. I shave my head, but not a day goes by that I don’t long for the days I had long curly hair.

Like 90% of men, I wish my cock were bigger. Unlike most of those, I know, definitively, that mine is smaller than average.

I’m in poor aerobic shape. Though I’m fit enough, my stamina (not sexual, aerobic) is poor.


I’m kinda monotonous. I mean, read the blog. If I had a nickel for every time a woman had complained that I’d done something with her she’d read about my doing with someone else, and that made her feel bad, I’d have a LOT of nickels.

I’m just not that into fucking. I mean, I like it fine and all, but not infrequently, I lose my erection, and I’d almost always prefer more oral.

When I do fuck, I really prefer that you ride me/I drive you while you ride me to a good old-fashioned pounding from the rear, or what have you.

This blog, surely, is a testament to my weaknesses. I’m sure I left many out. If you feel inclined to point them out to me, please do so gently.

Wicked Wednesday


  1. This, in my opinion, is a brave post, as is Cammies’ post about what makes her sexy and your post will be about what makes you sexy. I wish I had the guts to sit down and just think about it…

    Rebel xox

  2. And of course, you rebel at the thought at first and go wayward with the topic. It was my first inclination to respond to what is not sexy about me, but that was missing the point. Can’t wait to read the follow up post. And you touch upon these many traits frequently, sprinkled throughout your writings. While honest, I wonder how many are a perspective that is solely your own – or are you often told that you have these features by people who know you well?

    1. I tried hard to be objective, to leave out the aspects of myself, positive and negative, that are more about how I feel, how I see myself, and less about how others see me. That was my goal. I suppose I can’t really know how well I did.

  3. I think, often, we feel a need to be a little defensive first. Before extolling our virtues, we have to lower the bar a bit. Or, maybe that’s just me. Funny, that much of what supposedly makes you NOT sexy is what some of us readers would find sexy as hell.

    1. Wait, what? Arrogance? Myopia? Narcissism? Stubbornness? Or do you mean, rather, that the simultaneity of those characteristics and an offsetting awareness of them is sexy? Because that I can see….

  4. Seems my post on this subject has inspired others to explore this topic. I need to write at least one more post myself in the style of Cammies, really focusing on a type of list. For myself, it is a huge challenge and, from the comments I have got from people I am not alone in that. It is fair easier to be self critical than to be positive. I think your post is, as with all your writing, very self aware and very honest…. I wonder if the next post on this subject will be also….


  5. I like others look forward to the follow-up to this post. I may also have a look back through other’s take on this subject as it interests me.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Velvet x

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.