2014

I think of myself of abhorring it. I’m not a very dramatic person. Notwithstanding the drama of my story, or the complexity of my dissolute life, the truth is, there’s very little drama in it. For the most part, I…

Me: I want you to suck my cock tomorrow night. It will be late. I’m having dinner at 8:30 with a friend, but want you to be on call at 11 or 11:30. I want you to wear the outfit…

“There is no such thing as sexual competition, there is only the continual coming to terms with the fact that one can never be someone else…. Our rivals are merely other people. They are helpless, like us, because they only…

She’s late. I’m annoyed. Wait – I shouldn’t be annoyed. I should be grateful. She’s traveling a long distance, after all, to hand her body over to me to do with as I please. “Are you ok?” I text. Time…

Tinder’s funny. Each person has up to six photos and about 200 characters in which to communicate enough about herself or himself to entice others. When two people have “liked” each other – have swiped one another’s pictures right, or…

A package will arrive from Babeland. I thought about sending it to your office, but it’ll go home, instead. Don’t open it. Bring it, along with your vibrator, and a change of clothes. Check in to the hotel no later…

It’s funny, having a relationship with someone you’ve never met. On the one hand, I feel like I know her. Like I know not just her personality, but her body. The nature of our relationship has resulted in my seeing…

1) Swipe everyone to the right. Don’t bother looking, even. Less than 1% of women swipe me right anyway – I might as well let them all see me (I believe that, when I swipe right, it causes my profile…

Misunderstanding. I meant I’m confident we have much more to come. But I’m waiting for that button to be un-pushed. And what the hell are you reading this for anyway?