2013

Lately, I’ve been sitting myself in bars, as I’ve written, and seeing what happens. Usually (I’ve probably done it five or six times in recent weeks), nothing happens. I have a drink or two, and leave. But occasionally, something happens.…

There are two basic principles I find it helpful to bear in mind in relationships: first, relationships are co-constructions of two people. If there are aspects of a relationship that make me unhappy, it’s almost always more productive for me…

I’ve done a lot of writing in my life. Much of it has been heavily edited, often by multiple collaborators. I’ve done a lot of editing as well. Editing is a process I enjoy, and think I’m quite good at.…

I recently read a number of lists targeted at general audiences about “how to know your relationship is in trouble.” These lists are almost always misleading and unhelpful, to my mind: there’s an easy way to know your relationship is…

I know, I know – more of the same. You’ve heard it all before. But still…. You are dressed as I requested. A tiny black dress. Black boyshorts. A black bra. Your pussy is wet. You don’t see me. As…

Quick thought on misogynist lyrics and rape porn, following a conversation with a friend who sees things (very) differently than I do: There is a lot of disgusting shit out there – disgusting, misogynist, hateful lyrics. Grotesque, disturbing, porn. I…

I was reading about addiction, and I stumbled on a TED-X talk by Glennon Doyle Melton, a writer with a blog, and the author of Carry On, Warrior, a book that seems mostly culled from her blog. I was intrigued…

My friend Hy, over at the other dissolute sex blog, has an awesome feature. Every Friday, she posts the breasts of some of her readers. In recent weeks, she’s been challenging her posters to submit slightly more artful, less crude…

Brown hair, pulled back in a ponytail. (I love ponytails – they seem an invitation to imagine hair-pulling. Of the adult, consensual, hot kind.) Brown eyes. Dark. Big. Beneath long, elaborately spread out lashes. High cheekbones. Not so high as…

I was talking recently, with a couple of pre-teen girls. (Not in a creepy way. It was a dinner of several families, including one of the girls’ parents.) They taught us grownups the word “thirsty.” Apparently, it means “wanting to…