Sitting in bars

I’ve never been one for the pick-up. It’s not how I’ve ever found sexual partners. I suppose this is mostly a function of the way my confidence works, the way it doesn’t work.

I’ve hooked up with friends, with friends of friends, with women I’ve paid, with women I’ve met online, and, a couple of times, with women I met as a result of this blog. What all of these connections have featured, tellingly, is a sort of inoculation against the possibility of rejection. By the time I make a pass at a woman, I know she wants me, almost always.

Last week, with a small chunk of time to kill, I broke with habit. I didn’t read, or write, or meditate, or make a call – the uses to which I usually put such gaps in my schedule. Instead, I scouted out a welcoming bar, sat down, and ordered a drink, resolved to connect with one or more strangers in the bar. Tim started our conversation. Alison joined it. It was fun. And I realized, for the first time, that I could present myself as “a writer.” Not only that, but I saw that the conversation that flows – given much of what I write, how I answer questions about my writing – is quite likely to be provocative.

This week, another small chunk of time presented itself. I did the same thing. I needed a bite to eat, so I seated myself at the bar of a nice little restaurant, and I ordered (some sort of crispy chicken sandwich on a ciabatta). I’m still not drinking, so I had a water. Moments after my food arrived, so did a lovely woman in her late 20s, visiting town for work. She was waiting for a girl friend, and we struck up a conversation. About her work, mostly, in the Midwest. And, briefly, about my writing, about this blog.

Paean: she’s Indian. Small, with perfect bright white teeth, big brown eyes, and a radiant smile. She’s wrapped tight in a warm coat, hiding her shape, but she’s cute, sexy, hot.

She didn’t probe too deep. I kept the conversation chaste, didn’t push. She was leaving town in the morning. I was leaving the bar in ten minutes.

I gave her my URL.

I don’t expect to hear. But if I did, that would be fun.

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