My orgasm

Could you describe your orgasms for me? Can I be honest? I’ve asked guys this question before (boyfriends and friends), and the answer is always disappointing. No pressure or anything, but impress me.

Um.  This is the kind of question I ask women all the time, but… confronted by it myself?  I see how daunting it is.  Using words to describe bodily experiences is always somehow unsatisfying, as the words point toward experiences, but can’t possibly encompass or capture them comprehensively (see Slavoj Zizek, Violence, and many others).  This is a basic problem of language generally, but when it comes to sex, it’s even more pronounced.  It’s why, when I write about sex, I tend to spend far less time describing the physicality of the experience and more describing the context in which it happens:  somehow, the violence done by using language to describe experience feels less stark to me, less violating when describing scenarios, settings, dynamics, than when describe sensations or bodily experiences.

But K (a new distant buddy, about whom I’ll write some more shortly) asked, and so here goes:

Last night, I lay in bed.  I took off my black cotton boxer briefs (J.Crew), and took my cock in my hand.  My cock was hard, as I’d been touching it idly, stroking it, squeezing it, for the better part of an hour as I had gone back and forth between e-mailing and chatting and writing a post.  And trawling for images for my Tumblr.  There was no particular image in my mind, no porn stimulus – unusual for me.  Usually, when I jerk off, it’s either to a very specific fantasy or to a stream of images or a video.  But last night, I was focused on the impending orgasm – I wanted to be able to describe it, and so didn’t want to distract myself.

As I rubbed, and squeezed, and stroked, I felt the sensation of cum slowly advancing, moving forward, up the curve in my cock.  It’s a sensation not unlike having to pee (when I first started masturbating, I was confused because I thought I urgently had to pee and stopped and ran to the bathroom).  But it’s a bit different – a bit… sweeter, more tingly.  And, of course, from experience, I know what’s ahead feels so very different.

So as the cum advanced, I felt myself automatically adjusting my pace, my fervor, to slow down, to drink in the sensation of the cum advancing, of the pressure building.  Were I to keep going at the same pace and release my PC muscle (which I found myself naturally contracting), I would have cum.  But by now, my PC muscle was contracting, and I was watching the interplay between increasing pressure and increasing contraction of the muscles, and the two together blend into a single delicious sensation of… of what?  Not just anticipation, because there’s a pleasure in that very moment – not unlike the pleasure of a good stretch.  There’s a tension, a tautness, a pressure, but it’s a good pressure, a good tautness.  And it radiates out, concentrated in my cock, but flowing down my legs (my calves, in particular, tighten) and up my chest (my breathing becomes quicker, shallower, which I counter consciously by slowing it, deepening it).

Now typically, at this point, I’d bring myself as close as I could to orgasm, and then would pull back, stopping altogether for just a few seconds, to give myself time to recover, before resuming.  And I’d do that two, three, four, or six times, each time taking less and less time to approach the point of no return and pulling back, before finally giving in, and allowing myself to cum.

Last night?  I just wanted all my attention on the orgasm, and so I danced for just a moment at that spot – where a little faster would make me cum, a little slower would give me a break.  I didn’t take a break, didn’t advance the ball, and just rested on that precipice – intense pressure in my cock, an alertness and tingling all over my body, my muscles contracting in advance of what was about to happen, and inhaling more and more deeply with each breath.

Finally, I sped up just a tiny bit, increasing the pressure and the pace, and feeling the pressure of my semen build in intensity.  The image in my mind was that of water, an enormous wave, pushing up against a dam – the pressure grew and grew, and then, in a moment, I knew the orgasm was starting.

The first sensation was of a momentary vacuum of pressure – it was like that moment when you’re on a swing set and you reach the absolute peak of your arc:  the swing isn’t going up any more, but it isn’t falling yet – it’s just hanging, suspended, momentarily immune from gravity or momentum. This was like that.  The pressure just stopped, and the stopping was a relief, a pleasure.  And then, the flood gates opened.  My hips bucked, I started a long, grunting, groaning exhale as the first spurt of cum shot out of my cock.  And there were twin sensations:  of relief of pressure, and of an involuntary, strong squeezing, deep in my groin (in my balls? behind?).

The relief of pressure is, structurally, like the sound of a gong or a bell:  peak intensity at the initial moment of orgasm, with a gradual (linear?) reduction in intensity throughout the orgasm.  The squeezing is much different:  It’s pulsing, repeating, over and over, completely involuntary, and though the general trend is from the strongest, most intense squeeze to the tamest, almost imperceptible one, it’s not linear at all.  Some pulses surprise me, being much stronger than the previous; others are much weaker.

And over the course of some time (thirty seconds?  a minute? three deep breaths?) the wave that has swept over me came to a halt and I was spent, lying limp.  Every muscle that had contracted was released, relaxed.

I swabbed up the mess I made on my belly with a t-shirt, and, being a boy, drifted off to sleep.


  1. Wow, so well written and what a great description. I found it a good and enlightening read. I love the comparison to a swing-set and what a good picture to accompany it.

    1. I always like hunting for pictures. In this instance, I had a good water picture, too, but the post would have been too crowded with pics if I’d used it, and I really wanted the two cock shots.


  2. I know how my own orgasm builds and feels and happens and it is interesting to see that some of the feelings in your body is the same I experience in my own, like the feeling radiating out to your legs, your calves, your stomach and the strong squeezing in your groin.

    This was wonderful to read…

    Rebel xox

  3. Really well written. You did an excellent job using non-porno type descriptions, which is what I like about your writing in general. It’s not just “My cock got hard and felt so good” kind of stuff. It’s more introspective, articulate.

    I have to say my favorite part was, “and, being a boy, drifted off to sleep”. There’s a kind of vulnerable peace to a man after a good orgasm. A boyish sweetness that is very appealing. All of the masculine energy is at rest and there’s no driving need to do, be or get…’s a pretty profound place for me when I see that totally restful look on Master D’s face. I love it. It’s like, “Ahhh, I’m good for him.” 🙂

    Thank you for sharing,


    1. Thank you so much for these words. I really value your praise. And would love, once again, to read you write on the same subject. You write so good.

      1. Thank you. I’m not sure I can put an orgasm into words…I don’t know that I could “connect” my mind enough to be able to describe the intensity. I will have to think about it. I’m still working on the “slut” post….That’s not an easy one either, but it’s halfway done thanks to my comrades on fetlife 🙂

  4. Wow. If someone had asked me this question I really wouldn’t have had a clue how to go about describing it. I think you did a great job. It certainly was a wonderful read!

  5. Well, it sure does give me an intimate understanding of what, when, where and how, A man’s orgasm is like. I always ask but they can’t say…. Thank you.

  6. It is so hard to capture that moment, the sensations, in words, but you did a great job of describing it; I like the reference to the swingset. I’m much better at describing observable events as well.

    ~Kazi xxx

  7. I’ve been asked to describe my orgasms, and find myself at a loss. But yours sound a bit like my own. The buildup, the muscle contractions, the pressure, all sound familiar as you describe them. This past month, I actually haven’t been able to spend as much time masturbating as I would like. That’s probably okay, as I indulged daily (sometimes several times daily) in May.

  8. This is a really great piece of writing. I don’t think I have ever read such a good version of a male orgasm description before.


  9. Very interesting. When I had my first female ejaculation experience last week and I was afraid I had accidentally pissed the bed, a man asked me, “Wouldn’t you know the difference? They feel different”. I had to inform him that when a woman has an ejaculating orgasm, the sensation to pee is very strong and then of course it turns to something different. So I am finding it quite interesting that you have described your orgasm as being a sensation to pee at first.

    Nicely written.

    1. Thanks for the praise. I’d be very curious to read about the difference in sensation between your squirting orgasm and your non-squirting orgasms.

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