Some weeks ago, I posted a fantasy about me and Jade Morey – a right-wing politico who had her fifteen minutes of fame thanks to the Susan G. Komen controversy. (If you weren’t paying attention – she tweeted of those complaining about Komen’s brief withdrawal of support for Planned Parenthood that we should “cry [her] a freaking river.” Her tweet was re-tweeted by Karen Handel, at the time, Komen’s Vice President for Public Policy. In the uproar that ensued, Handel was forced to resign and Jade lived out her fifteen minutes of infamy.)
The other day, I wondered a bit about “creep shots” – pictures taken of unwitting subjects for the titillation of the photographer and, perhaps, of her/his audience. The discussion was heated, and the consensus was that I am a creep for ever having done such a thing. And I told folks I’d stop, convinced not that it’s “bad” to do so, but that it does upset some people whom I don’t particularly want to upset.
Today, I’m wondering about what I did with/to Jade Morey: I fantasized, publicly, about consensual sex with her. I didn’t imagine or describe anything non-consensual. In fact, I made her my mistress in my fantasies.
Now. This clearly was violating – she almost certainly didn’t want to be the subject of my fantasies, let alone of my blog posts. But she inserted herself – wittingly or not – in my fantasies. And, exhibitionist that I am, I shared that with you.
But was it wrong?
I’m not sure. The kid in me wants to say, “She started it.” Which is true. I tweeted something totally respectful, but opinionated, to her (saying, as I recall, “keep your opinions off our bodies”). Her response was sexual: “Like I’d want to be anywhere near your body.”
It was that tweet, that raising of the ante on her part, that got me thinking about her as a sexual being and not just as a vapid, insipid child with offensive (to me) opinions.
But I’m curious – what do you – especially those of you who called me out for my creepy behavior in the comments to the “creep shot” post – think about what I did there? Fair? Unfair? Poor taste? Funny? Effective? Trivial? I’m curious….
I don’t think what you did was wrong. Did you even post the fantasy?
She’s somewhat of a public figure and I’m sure she would never stumble upon your story.I think it all boils down to her 15 minutes of fame.
I don’t think it would be any different if you posted a fantasy with a famous actress as your leading lady. It’s your blog, it’s writing, it’s a fantasy with two consenting adults. I don’t think it’s morally wrong to fantasize about anyone. I don’t think it’s wrong to post about a fantasy you had about someone in the public eye. Interesting.
1. I’m pretty sure she did stumble on my story. I didn’t post the fantasy, but I posted about the fantasy.
2. Because she’s public, she doesn’t have a right not to be the victim of such stuff?
3. What if the fantasy had been non-consensual? (E.g., what if I’d raped her?)
I don’t have answers to these questions. I find them intriguing though.
Victim of ? I think you’re using the word victim too loosely here.You might want to find a better word than ‘victim’. Hmmm I don’t know. I don’t have the answers.I guess that’s why they’re called fantasies. I have a lot of fantasies that are “weird”. I don’t write about them because writing is not one of my strengths.
On another note. Looking at her picture is odd! She looks almost EXACTLY like the girls I went to high school with. Southern California. Ughh Don’t see her in a sexual context at all.
What word would be better than “victim”? I don’t mean to cheapen the word, but neither do I have a great alternative.
Writing about people is funny – it’s personal, and potentially intrusive. I’m curious about the difference between, say, writing about someone, taking their picture, and doing the two together….
I don’t have an alternative word. You’re the writer 😉
It’s hard for me to describe the difference because for me it’s crystal clear.It’s too obvious ( in my opinion) that I cant put it into words. I think I’ve responded to the whole photo issue enough ,and why it may feel invasive to some women.I don’t know what else to tell you.The only thing I can tell you is that that for me, reading about someones fantasy about me (whether I like it or not) doesn’t even come close to feeling as invasive (not to mention triggering) as someone taking a photo of me.
As a peace offering I might just have to email you a photo of me 😉
HA.
That would fix MY wagon…. 😉 (I won’t publish any picture you send of me without your permission. THAT would certainly be a violation. But I’d happily publish one if you asked.)
how very considerate of you. i’m glad i broke whatever awkwardness was left from the previous post. i might just send you one for your own viewing pleasure.
People do this, with lots of disclaimers:
http://www.celebfanforum.com/forumdisplay.php?102-Fanfiction
It’s amazing what’s out there!
Not quite sure what your choice of fantasy material says, but still… Seems to be fair game.
xx L
But what do *you* think? Is it ok to rape some one imaginarily? To fuck them? To deploy them in your fantasies?
I think it’s fine, but like just about everything, there may be repercussions. Revealing your fantasies about real people or public people can shift the way we think about those people… And also the way we think about you.
(My dream about Anthony Kiedis changed the way I think about him permanently… Not in a bad way.)
But do I think it’s ok to rape someone in your mind? Turn, say, Clive Owen into my fuck toy? Available in chains to suck my toes at my whim? Spread him and peg him? Absolutely.
But I guess I’d make it VERY clear that it’s fiction.
Is it poor taste? Taste is subjective. But mine is good.
That *is* good taste. And, to be clear, I actually very rarely have rape fantasies – just not how my desire works. I’m more interested in the how’s and the why’s….