I want you to give me what I want.
I am prepared to tailor what I want to your boundaries, your limits, your willingness.
But once I’ve done my tailoring (measure twice, cut once), then? Then, I want you to give me what I want.
And what I want is simple:
- I want you to say “yes” to any request I make to which you possibly can say “yes.” Preferably, by responding, instantly, with what I ask. But, failing that, by saying (as soon as you see what I ask you for), “I would love to give that to you, and you will have it by [insert time, or date, here].”
- If you can’t say “yes,” I want you to say, “I wish I could say yes to what you ask, but I can’t, for these reasons. And, given both what you want, and my limits, I can say yes to…” And then, to offer me something. Something I’ll be even happier to receive than what I asked for in the first place.
- I want you to communicate. Compulsively. I want you to answer every question I ask you as soon as possible, as comprehensively as possible, as honestly as possible.
- I want you to under-promise and over-deliver. If you tell me you’ll get me something by 4 pm, please, get it to me no later than, say, 3:55. And, in the event it becomes clear you won’t be able to do so, then please, don’t worry: just tell me that as soon as it becomes clear to you (and not at 3:55, natch).
- I want you to be on top of things. I don’t want to have to remind you of things. I don’t want to have to ask twice for things. I don’t want to have to punish you, ever. The only punishments I ever wish to give you are the kind of punishments that are rewards.
I’ve written all this before. I’ll write it all again.
There are simple reasons for what I want. They boil down to safety. Give me what I seek, and I feel safe – safe enough to use you in ways that will redound gloriously to both of our benefits.
But if you fall down, if you fail to give me what I want? Then, my sense of safety starts to erode. I will feel vulnerable, scared. And there’s nothing less hot than fear.
So. Keep me safe. Give me what I seek. And we both will be rewarded richly.