I am a tortured soul.

I stopped smoking a few months ago. For the umpteenth time.

And then, the other day, I bought a pack. Not for “bad” reasons. I had happy shit happening, and I wanted to celebrate, and cigarettes felt like the “best” way for me. So I bought a pack.

I smoked a few of them. The first was phenomenal. Each successive cigarette gave me less pleasure. I tossed the pack after smoking about ten. But five, I put in a drawer, because reasons (having nothing to do with me).

The problem is, I can’t handle cigarettes in a drawer. Since I put those cigarettes in a drawer, two of them of have been consumed by me. Two remain. Do the math.