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A thousand miles away, she said good morning.

They want to fuck my wife, but not me. I didn’t take it well.

Literally. We have never met. I begin many days by asking her to send me a picture. Left to her own devices, she would send crude, nude, spread shots. I’ve taught her to see the beauty in (or trained her…

The common cold cockblocks me, and Monday feels like an eternity.

Every woman I’ve been with is special. But some are more special than others.

I “met” B on OKCupid. Exotic looking, a bit younger, and clearly a bit self-conscious about her figure, and her ass in particular. I haven’t met her in person yet, so who knows if I’ll agree with her harsh judgment…

Our plan:  go to a panel discussion on the representation of sex in “Mad Men,” conducted by a bunch of psychoanalysts; then, meet M and J, an Upper East Side couple who responded to a CraigsList ad; and then, go…