Territory
The Social World
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Dating tina: chemistry, submission, and running away
Read moreI’ve dated several beautiful, intelligent women recently but can’t muster a physical response. With Tina, whose voice is catnip, the problem is she’s not submissive — when I asked her to wear something green and she deflected, every alarm bell went off, and now, shamefully, I want to run.
Bike lane beauty
Read moreI’ve traded my subway commute for an e-bike over the past two years, gaining a new intimacy with the city’s geography and weather, but losing the daily river of humanity that once inspired my peons. This morning gave me my first fleeting glimpse of that old muse — a stunning brunette on a bike, gone in a flash.
The ridiculousness of ai
Read moreReviewing French Fries, or, the ridiculous power of AI. Or, I’m totally obsessional.
A meditation on aging and mortality
Read moreMeeting women has changed dramatically over the last 15 years — from mass-swiping Tinder to the blog attracting partners organically — and now all avenues have dried up.
Paean
Read moreA PAWG? Not quite. But almost….
Missing v: a bittersweet reflection on lost contact
Read moreI’ve known V since 2011. We aren’t in touch, and I haz a sad.
Losing women
Read moreI struggle to accept the loss of women in my life, a pattern rooted in losing my mother repeatedly.
Paean
Read moreA surfeit of style
Paean
Read moreA paean that graduates into something like a creep shot.
Paean, or, the limitations – and capabilities – of ai
Read moreAI can nail a face but not a feeling. Guess which one matters more to me.
Preternatural
Read moreEvery fucking element of her is preternatural. And I enlisted every AI I could find to try to show you what I mean.
Portrait of a stranger who looks like my cousin
Read moreWhile sitting at a bar in my father’s neighborhood, I was struck by a beautiful woman who closely resembles a cousin I once had a crush on.
Excavations from an old journal (#1)
Read morePaging through an old journal, I found this….
Biking ruminations
Read moreA momentary lapse of reason about Serena.
Dominance, dubmission, and new dating dynamics
Read moreAfter years of D/s relationships, my presumptuous and demanding habits are causing missteps as I start dating older, more experienced women.
Growing up
Read moreFor years, my dating life was defined by dominance and submission. Now, I’m experimenting with dating women who aren’t arriving with that expectation—this has not been my world, really, ever. I’ve already had a couple of missteps. With these grown-ass women? I’ve been presumptuous, demanding, and narcissistic.
Cunt dreams
Read moreJust what is it I’m scared of? Same old same old…. Shame. Abandonment. Loss.
The burden of a false self revealed
Read moreRemembering pressures I felt to be someone other than myself.
Paean
Read moreA beautiful German woman.
Fear and uncertainty in dating
Read moreI find that if I mine my interactions with, and feelings about, various women in my life, I can learn a lot of interesting stuff. Mostly around my fear and uncertainty in dating.
