In the early days of this blog, the internet seemed to be filled with women who were excited by what I was doing here. Excited to come for me. Excited to send me teasing hot pictures, videos, and audio. Excited to correspond with me and engage with me. Excited to meet me in real life.
Those women found me a number of ways, all of which funneled through the blog. Some of them (V, Sofia, for example) got here from other blogs. Some of them (Isabel, Hope, the Amazon for example) got here from my Tinder or OKCupid profile. Some of them got here through Google. Those were the primary ways. But the volume of women who found me those ways was, for a while, not quite unmanageable, but it put me in a position of luxury, of surplus. There was no scarcity. I turned away a not insignificant number of women, politely, kindly, respectfully, but necessarily.
Fast forward to today. Those days are over. Tinder is a joke. The dating apps which have, for the most part, succeeded it (Feeld, Hinge, etc.), don’t seem to attract the same species of adventure-seeking, single, or poly, or cheating woman. Google sends a fraction of the traffic here that it once did. This in spite of the fact that the blog has never stopped growing or being active. (I’m not alone here: apparently, Google in general has made changes that have similarly affected lots of people.)
And the blogosphere in which originally this blog functioned, is no more. There simply are no other blogs like this out there, to my knowledge. Back in the day, lists were published annually of the top 10, or 100, or even 500 sex blogs. And while I always thought I belonged in the top 10 or 20, and often I was, it never occurred to me that I should be number one.
Nowadays, I do genuinely have the sense that I should be number one, that I am number one. Not because I’m so great, but because I’m doing something no one else is doing anymore. So things have changed, and they’ve changed in over-determined, multifarious ways.
As I said, dating apps have changed, the internet has changed, Google has changed, sexual culture among women in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s have changed. And of course, I’m older. In my mid-50s, not my early 40s. And even though I am objectively the hottest I’ve ever been in my life, the leanest, the most fit, just generally the best looking, whatever it is that used to draw people to me doesn’t seem to have that draw anymore.
🙁
