I have a new fantasy, which isn’t entirely new. It’s a version of something I used to fantasize about in happy ending massage parlors. The original instance of this fantasy was that one woman – someone who knew well how I liked to be touched, how I liked a session to go – would instruct another in how to please me, and I, lying on the table, would be the beneficiary.
I always liked that fantasy (though I don’t think I ever caused it to happen).
In the years since 2009, that morphed into a slightly more evolved fantasy, one I don’t know I ever explicitly articulated to myself: the same, but with oral sex and not with a sex worker or two, but rather with women who know me. The idea is, I would have two women who know me well, each of whom knows just how to please me – to have them instruct each other, share their tips. And thus, to exponentiate my pleasure!
In the original massage parlor fantasy, it was someone who knew me introducing my pleasure to someone who didn’t. In the (more mature) post-2009 version, it’s two women who know me well, sharing their knowledge with me as a shared object of pleasure.
Inversion
I recently had a slight inversion of these fantasies: I found myself contemplating a woman guiding me in my ministrations to another woman. In this fantasy, woman #1 guides my hand and mouth – and cock – as I deploy them all with/on/in another woman for her pleasure. In this instance, I’m not the locus of pleasure, not the focus of attention – rather, I’m the student, the one being guided.
I think this construction delivers me several virtues. First and foremost, it makes me safe, structurally: if one woman is responsible for the movement of my hand or mouth or cock, I’m structurally inoculated against offense I might cause. (And I’ll note: in the fantasy, woman #1 knows woman #2 well enough, and/or has her permission such that, no offense at all is possible, whether caused by me or by woman #1 in her guidance of me.) No one can transgress. Nothing unwelcome can happen. And, too, I’m absolved of responsibility: not just for the responsibility for what happens, but for the responsibility of thought or strategy or decision-making. (This, it seems, is a sub fantasy, on some level.)
As a dom, I’ve always intuitively understood the ways some subs appreciate being freed from decision-making. I’ve never particularly craved that myself. Or, really, while I have craved it, I’ve never (or very rarely) felt I could abandon decision-making and remain confident that the decisions made would please me. If I’m not the recipient of touch, this is much less of a concern.
A woman guiding my hand over another woman’s body? How can I be unhappy?