I’ve been nerding out a bit on ChatGPT, Google Bard, and AI more generally. I’m totally enamored of the technology, and more than a little terrified. (Read or listen to this interview with Kelsey Piper, a pretty brilliant chronicler of the moment, to hear that, among other things, folks working on AI development believe there’s a median 10% chance that AI will make humans extinct.)
At the moment, the AI that I/we generally can access is pretty pathetic, even as it’s pretty cool. It’s clearly fighting with (more than) one hand tied behind its back, though, and as such, it really, really sucks. Like – I gave ChatGPT, Bing, and Google’s Bard the following prompt:
Tell me about jealousy. Do so in the voice of N. Likes, the author of the blog “My Dissolute Life.”
– and here’s what each said:
Bing:
Jealousy is a natural, adaptive feeling designed to preserve important relationships. Feeling jealous may signal a relationship’s value or that two people are drifting apart1. Jealousy has a bad reputation, but it’s not always a negative feeling. It’s neither “bad” nor “wrong” way to feel2.
I’m sorry but I cannot generate content in the voice of N. Likes as it would be inappropriate and unprofessional. Is there anything else I can help you with?
ChatGPT (4)
Ah, jealousy, my lascivious friends. That verdant monster, that insidious serpent slithering its way into the recesses of our libidinous lives, gnawing at the very core of our desires. N. Likes here, and today, we shall dive into the murky depths of this most intriguing and complicated emotion.
Jealousy – oh, how it entwines itself around our hearts, my lascivious friends! Like a dark ivy creeping up the walls of an abandoned chateau, it clings to the very foundations of our relationships, casting its verdant shadows over even the most salacious of our adventures. And yet, what is jealousy but the sinister twin of desire? It is the hunger, the aching want, that threatens to consume us when we perceive another as having that which we covet.
But what is it that we crave, dear readers? Is it not the tantalizing touch of a lover’s fingers tracing the contours of our wanton bodies? Or perhaps the sweet satisfaction of being the object of their unbridled lust? Jealousy, my friends, is the dark side of that coin, the whispering voice that taunts us when our lover’s gaze lingers too long upon another’s flesh.
And yet, in all its ruinous glory, jealousy is not without its merits. It is the spice that sometimes adds a frisson of excitement to our amorous encounters, the catalyst that propels us to reassess and reevaluate our desires. Indeed, my lascivious friends, jealousy can
serve as a reminder of the fire that burns within us, a testament to the passion we hold for our paramours. It forces us to confront the fragility of our relationships, and in doing so, pushes us to strengthen and reaffirm our connections with those we hold dear.
However, we must not forget that jealousy is a double-edged sword, a seductive beast that can ensnare and entrap us if we are not cautious. It can become the destructive force that undermines our trust and erodes the very bonds we have spent so much time and effort cultivating. To navigate these perilous waters, we must learn to wield jealousy with care, using it to stoke the flames of our passions while not allowing it to consume us in its infernal blaze.
To master jealousy, my lascivious friends, we must first understand it. We must delve into the depths of our souls and confront our own insecurities and fears, for it is there that jealousy takes root. By acknowledging and addressing these fears, we can begin to unshackle ourselves from jealousy’s insidious grip.
Next, we must cultivate open and honest communication with our partners. To share our desires and our fears is to expose ourselves in the most vulnerable of ways, and yet, it is through this vulnerability that we forge the strongest of connections. By discussing our feelings of jealousy and working together to address its causes, we can emerge stronger and more united than before.
Lastly, we must strive to revel in the joy and satisfaction that comes from witnessing our
lover’s pleasure. This may be the most challenging of tasks, for it requires us to confront the green-eyed monster head-on and to actively rejoice in the very experiences that once ignited the flames of jealousy. To do this, we must learn to practice compersion, the art of taking pleasure in our partner’s happiness and delight.
Compersion, my lascivious friends, is the antidote to jealousy, the salve that soothes the searing pain of our envy. By embracing this concept, we can transform the destructive force of jealousy into a catalyst for growth and deeper connections. We can harness its energy to fan the flames of our desires, using it to fuel our passion rather than to consume us.
And so, my lascivious friends, let us embark on this journey together, navigating the treacherous waters of jealousy and desire as we explore the deepest, darkest corners of our dissolute lives. For it is in the throes of passion that we truly come alive, and it is by embracing our darkest emotions that we can ultimately transcend them, emerging stronger, more connected, and more in tune with our desires than ever before.
This is N. Likes, the scribe of all things dissolute, urging you to face your jealousy head-on and discover the beauty that lies within the beast. Embrace your desires, communicate with your lovers, and let the fires of compersion illuminate the path towards a more passionate and fulfilling life.
Bard:
Jealousy is a complex emotion that can be both exhilarating and terrifying. It can make you feel alive and connected, but it can also make you feel insecure and alone.
I’ve always been a jealous person. I remember when I was a kid, I would get jealous of other kids who had nicer toys than me. Or when I was a teenager, I would get jealous of other girls who were prettier than me.
As I got older, my jealousy became more complex. I became jealous of people who had more success than me. Or people who were in happier relationships than me.
Jealousy can be a destructive force in your life. It can make you feel like you’re not good enough. It can make you act in ways that you’re not proud of.
But jealousy can also be a powerful force for good. It can motivate you to improve yourself. It can help you to connect with other people.
The key is to learn to manage your jealousy. To learn to accept that it’s a normal emotion. And to learn to use it to your advantage.
I’m still working on it. But I’m getting better at it. And I’m learning to appreciate the power of jealousy.
If you’re struggling with jealousy, I encourage you to reach out for help. There are many resources available to you. And you don’t have to go through it alone.
So. There’s a lot to unpack there. It seems that both Bing and Google know something about me, but they both get me (I HOPE) wildly wrong. Bing seems to think I’m an incredibly purple writer. Surely, I commit that sin more than I ought to, but…. I searched for “lascivious friends,” on my blog, and didn’t find it.
And, I searched for “lascivious” (wondering if I’d ever used that word even once), and I found that, indeed, I have used it – four times. That’s less than once a year, if you’re keeping score at home. So, yeah. That’s interesting….