Sofia and I were talking about responsiveness. She doesn’t come easily with men, and imagined that this meant she was, “almost by definition less ‘responsive’.”

But this isn’t what I mean.

I don’t mean, by “responsive,” that a woman comes when I finger her, when I lick her clit, when I fuck her. The steering wheel analogy is imperfect, I suppose, because if things are working well, when I turn a steering wheel to the right, it takes the most gentle of pushes to accomplish the rightward turn for which I’m hoping. What I really mean is different, more like the denotative meaning of “responsive.”

A woman whose body is responsive responds to my touch. This could be with an orgasm, sure. But it also could be with a sigh, a breath, a movement, a bucking, a pushing, a pulling, a moaning, a talking, a screaming. It’s about communication on her part, not effectiveness or “success” on mine.

Ironically, I’m pretty sure my body isn’t all that responsive, that discerning what feels good and what feels less so for me can be challenging if my cock is in your mouth, if you’re licking its underside.


(And a note: I have about a dozen posts in the hopper – orgasms, a night of fun sex with a new friend named Rose, thoughts, and various and sundry – but they’re taking me longer than usual to get up for reasons having to do with, well, you know, life. Stay tuned.)

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