There are a couple of different forms my porn-surfing takes:

1)  Purposeful: I’m going to rub one out, and I want visual stimulation.

In this instance, typically, I watch a movie that I’ve downloaded from a favorite site.  As I’ve written elsewhere, this might be AmateurAllure, X-Art, SexArt, IFeelMyself, Met-Art, or OnlyAllsites.  Most often?  AmateurAllure.  And, more recently, I’ve discovered the joys of DigitalDesire (slightly over-theatrical videos of beautiful models, typically stripping nude and then masturbating to orgasm).  I might watch snippets of one, two, or three.  But typically, I make myself cum pretty quickly, and the porn does its job efficiently.

2)  Idle, distracted:  I’m distractedly taking in what the web has to offer, typically while doing something else, just enjoying the mild stiffening action the stimulation provides.

In this instance, typically, I page through my Google Reader feed, pressing “J” (next item) and “S” for “star” (which places the item in my Tumblr, thanks to ifttt).

3)  Idle, intent:  what I’m doing is porn-surfing, seeking something “fulfilling,” “satisfying,” good.”

This is the most interesting (as in, intellectually, from a distance, to me) form of surfing.  I used to do this for hours at a time – as if there was, out there, the perfect image, or video, or porn site, that if only I could find would once and for all put an end to my quest.  It was (and occasionally is) as if there is some “right answer,” some grail which I could find.  Of course, there isn’t.  And more interesting, not only isn’t there, but the form this surfing takes belies this goal.  In this mode, I typically skate from site to site, looking for the one that appeals most, and download movie after movie, without even watching more than ten seconds of them.  In this mode, seeking is privileged over finding, downloading (acquiring) over streaming (watching), and collecting (saving) over consuming.  I often tell my kid, “It’s more fun to get than to have, but it’s better to have than to get.”  I’m like a toddler in my relationship to porn in this mode, though: I just want to get.  I take not even a moment’s pleasure in what I’ve acquired.  This is a joyless, miserable form of existence, and, like the other forms of my addictive, compulsive behaviors, makes the realm of the hungry ghosts palpable, real.

4)  With company:  this is the best – using porn as a toy, to stimulate and arouse in advance of, or during, sex.

Nuff said.

How about you? How do you consume porn?

Related posts:

  1. A few thoughts on porn
  2. Cultural sexual hegemony and me, #4 – blowjobs
  3. Faking it, part 2
  4. The importance of mouths