Spreadsheeting orgasms

If you’re a geek like me, those two words, together, are pretty much the cat’s fucking meow.  (Speaking of which, if you haven’t seen this hysterical new blog – “Indifferent Cats in Amateur Porn” – you must go.  Hat tip to Violet Blue for calling my attention to this vital new contribution to the blogiverse.)

For the last couple of weeks, in addition to all the fun that you’ve read about in my “Folly” series, P has been doing me the kindness of spreadsheeting her orgasms for me.  In a joking moment – she was spinning out a fantasy – she mentioned a spreadsheet in an aside.  It so happened that, just the day before, I had read, on the blog of the lovely Curvaceous Dee, about her mistress’s commands for the month of May, in this post.  Long story short, Dee was to spreadsheet a month’s worth of her orgasms, subject to all sorts of fun strictures imposed by her mistress.  Yum.  Too much fun.  Dee had done this before.  Click through to see the spreadsheets she did for this year – still in progress – as well as for 2008 and 2010.

Well, I proposed my own version to P, and she was totally game.  Well, not totally game.  For a while, she was falling behind in her work.  But more recently, she seems to have stepped up her game, and I think it’s (almost) as fun for her as it is for me.  As a little bonus, we do it as a Google doc – one, alas, I’m not going to share with you.  But every time she updates a cell, I get an e-mail.  So I get these real-time updates about her masturbation.  So. Fucking. Hot.  (Among the little tidbits I’ve learned?  She often gets herself off in her car, in parking structures.  Look out for her, next time you’re parking.)


  1. Heh, what a brilliant idea.  I’m surprised it had never occurred to me; thanks for the suggestion.

  2. Interesting concept.
    Ahh, the days of working. I used to get off in the parking lot if I’d been unable to orgasm sitting at my desk. Funny….now I can orgasm hands-free at my desk at home no problem but back then the vibrator had to be just right, the position had to be just right and for me to actually come I’d inevitably end up with a hand down my panties holding the bullet vibe in the exact right spot. Not exactly….convenient when one works in an open-plan cube farm.

  3. My bff and I joke about spreadsheets all the time. Her current lover kept track of her orgasms in the beginning of their relationship. Parking structures? I thought I was the only one! 🙂 Parking lots are my favorites: the local cafe, grocery store and a restaurant to name a few. 

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