Agony aunt

One of the perks of being a sex blogger is that, from time to time, a lovely lady will write me with a delicious question, one that gets me hard just to ponder, let alone to answer.  Just the other day, I was privileged to have such a question, and my questioner was generous enough to allow me to share both her question and my answer.  Lucky you!


I would like to solicit your opinion, as someone I think is a discerning consumer and experienced connoisseur of the female form.

The dominant friend who was my primary mentor and source of information on the d/s world introduced me to the pleasure of wearing (among other things) feminine under clothing, particularly stockings and what the Brits call suspenders. I love to wear them.

He also wanted me to wear skirts, and the more form fitting, the better – which I also now love to wear.

My question concerns whether it’s preferable to wear a snug skirt, commando, and have nice clean lines, or wear a snug skirt with garters and stockings and have their outlines visible.

I guess another option would be to have them NOT visible under a snug skirt; if such an option is possible, I’d like to be told how to achieve it.


Here’s the answer I gave:

First – thank you. Thank you for thinking that what I have to say in response to a question might be interesting. And thank you for asking me. And thank you for giving me permission to share both your question and my answer with my tiny audience.

Now – on to your question/s. Like your friend, I’m a huge friend of stockings and “what the Brits call suspenders.” Or what the Americans call “garters.” I’m glad you love to wear them. Every woman who loves to wear them is a gift to me, even if I never get to see her in them. And if I get to see her in them? Mmmm. Yum.

Ditto skirts. I think skirts and/or dresses should be mandatory whenever sex is a remote possibility, and jeans or yoga pants at all other times. Skirts and dresses provide access – both tactile access, the possibility of my hands’ creeping up your legs, feeling, tickling, the tops of your thighs, on their way to your panties, to your pussy, and visual/fantastic access – the fact that I can imagine just how close my hands are, my cock is, to touching you there.

I think some skirts and dresses should be form fitting, but others should be flouncy, loose, draped over the body in a way that allows gravity, rather than elasticity, to reveal the shapes and curves that lie beneath.

With respect to lines: I think panty lines are, for the most part, sort of like makeup. Women notice it; men don’t, unless it’s done badly. Wait – that’s not quite right. Men do notice panty lines sometimes – but almost always in a good way. If you’re wearing a thong or boyshorts or bikini briefs, and I can see your panty lines, I’m a happy guy (unless your ass isn’t appealing to me to begin with). This is because panty lines immediately conjure the sensation of that point, the place where clothing ends and flesh begins, where my fingers can snake under and cross from sacred to profane. (O.k., that metaphor’s stretched – maybe it’s from profane to sacred. Or maybe from outside to inside?)

No, the only times I don’t take pleasure in panty lines are when either the ass itself is unappealing to me and so the lines are simply calling my attention somewhere it doesn’t want to be, or the panties are unappealing – granny panties, or some such.

Otherwise? Bring on the panty lines. That’s what I say.

Some guys like commando, the enhanced sensation of access and availability that comes with it. The sensations about which I wrote above are enhanced further for them by virtue of the knowledge that nothing stands between their hands, their cock, and your cunt.

I’m not one of those guys. Panties have never slowed me down in any way but a good one. Keep wearing them, and I don’t mind at all if I can see them.

Thanks once again for the question. (And I’ve, of course, given my highly personal answer. I’d love to hear the viewpoint of others, both lovers of women and women, in the comments.)


  1. Yeah- I’m a chick, but panty lines?  Blech.  I’m not a huge fan of thongs, but with anything tight? yes, please. Yoga pants- thong.  Running pants- thong.  Short skirt- boyshorts (you never know when someone may creep shoot you 🙂 ) Jeans? anything goes.
    As far as stockings/ garter combo- same holds- I don’t want them to show through my clothes.  I’ll happily give you a peek under my skirt, but not through it.
    That said, Wolford used to make a pretty awesome one piece garter/ stocking unit that is very flat…good for under form fitting dresses or skirts.
    BTW- I feel similarly about bra lines- I don’t mind intentional visibility, like straps in color or lace, but I don’t want to see lots of lines under a tight opaque shirt

      1. Xactly. You only see it if I want you to.
        And in your case, particularly, I play to your preferences. I like to please you.

  2. My questioner pointed out that I didn’t address a key point of her question, which she restated thus-ly:

    As far as I can determine, if I am wearing a form fitting skirt, these are my options:1.  Panties plus garter and stockings2.  No panties but garter and stockings3.  Panties with thigh highs4.  No panties with thigh highs 5.  Panties but no hose (summer option)6.  No panties, no hose (summer option)7.  Pantyhose

    Now, my answer here is the same as that I gave above:  it’s all fine (though I prefer panties, notwithstanding lines).  But the “bumps” associated with the garter and stockings?  Just more hotness, as far as I’m concerned.  The point of “bumps” is that they call to mind to the viewer what lies beneath.  And that’s not a bad thing.  (Unless it is.)

    My bad for missing that point

  3. I agree with Lizzie about the bra lines; I think the bra situation presents a more difficult problem to solve, though.  I thinks it’s easier for us to find panties, of whatever variety, that fit properly than it is to find a bra of any kind that fits well.  

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