Dear Maxie:
At one point I thought about sending you a collection notice for the blowjob you owe me. I might have even done that, I don’t remember.
At another point I thought about just lambasting you, calling you out on what is, to my mind, if not inexcusable, certainly ultimately incomprehensible behavior. I just don’t get, particularly after the degree of connectedness and mutual disclosure we shared, disappearing, ghosting, without a word.
I imagine there must be some strong emotion lying beneath that. Fear? Disgust? Sadness?
I’m curious, but I suppose it doesn’t matter.
The point is, you made a decision, you implemented it, and that had an interaction with my psyche and emotions. That I suspect had you contemplated, you could have anticipated. And maybe you did. Obviously I can’t know.
All I know is that I’ve changed my mind, that instead of sending you a collection notice, I’m sending you this summons:
I like a summons better than a collection notice for a couple of reasons:
One, there is at least a pretense of authority in a summons issued by a governmental authority that exceeds that of a collection notice sent simply by a creditor.
Two… At least for most of my life, in most circumstances, the payment of summonses is essentially voluntary. This is especially true, or used to be at least, with respect to parking tickets on out-of-state vehicles. That’s all changed in the last 20 or 30 years. But in my mind at least, a summons is essentially voluntary. I don’t intend to compel payment. Collection notices, oddly, have more consequences associated with non-payment. Credit scores, etc. So, that’s my thinking.
But. You have been summonsed.