Help wanted – Dom* seeks sub*

In the current moment, I’m behaving prudently, responsibly, safely. I’m not having sex with anyone other than T. This, of course, represents a loss to me.

At the same time, over the years, I’ve had a number of profoundly rewarding relationships with women far away from me, whom I’ve referred to (who Liza referred to) as “distant buddies.”


At the moment, I have an opening for the position of “Distant Buddy.” I am seeking a lovely woman with whom I might play virtually, at a distance. A woman who wants me to wet her pussy thoroughly, consistently; who wants to stiffen my cock achingly, constantly.

Are you this woman?


Far and away, the most important qualification is that you read this blog, that you find it compelling. Partly, this is narcissistic: I am interested in people who are interested in me, who find me compelling. But also, it’s because if you’re to succeed in this role, we are going to have to connect, and I’ve found “enjoying my blog” to be a great predictor of connection. (Though perhaps that just means it’s entirely narcissistic. I suppose I’m ok with that.)

You must be smart. It’s ok if you think I’m smart, but I need you to be smart, too.

A few other qualifications:

  1. You can follow instructions.
  2. You are interested in developing trust in me such that you will freely, gladly, comply with all I ask.
  3. To the extent that my asks exceed your capabilities, or your comfort, you can commit to communicating honestly, openly, and comprehensively – and generously. If you need to say “no” to me, you will understand that I will only be disappointed if you don’t apologize, explain what stands between you and giving me what I ask, and help me think about alternatives that will be at least as gratifying for me to receive, for you to give to me. (This post fleshes out what I want from you.)
  4. You are good at respectful communication.

There are a few things I don’t particularly care about. I don’t care how old you are. I don’t, particularly, care what you look like. I mean, I will want to learn what you look like, and I will come to care. And I definitely have found that my relationships tend toward relationships with women who are confident in their looks. But, to the extent I have a “type,” it’s not in any way exclusive. The vast majority of women with whom I’ve had relationships have not been my type. There is one exception here: sadly, regretfully, I just never find myself (I like to think I haven’t yet found myself) attracted to fat women or to women who identify as “big and beautiful.” This isn’t, by any means, a policy. It’s a factual description of the past, and it’s one I desperately would love to upend. But it’s true, thus far.

Bonus points if you live close enough to the Acela corridor that we might reasonably hope to meet some day, but this is not a requirement.


The responsibilities in this position are, honestly, quite limited: make my cock hard. Inspire me. Make me think. All while communicating respectfully and well. That’s it. Do those things, and you will earn promotions and rewards.

Application process

Contact me. I’m not hard to find.

In your first communication with me, at a minimum, please show me, somehow, that you’ve read this page, and that you’ve read the pages to which I’ve linked from this page.

Include something that shows me just a hint of your vulnerability.

This could be a short recording of your voice. It could be a photo that you might not send just anyone (but please – nothing you wouldn’t see in an R-rated movie not targeted at teen boys) – and, that you haven’t sent to anyone previously, and won’t, subsequently – something just for me.

It could be words you’ve written in response to something, some things, that I’ve written.

It might simply be an orgasm that you had, thanks to my writing.

It could be something else. (One distant buddy who progressed, over time, to being an in-person sexual partner, sent me a spectacular PowerPoint presentation once.)

You may rest assured, I will never, ever share anything you send me with anyone, as I promise in my code of conduct. Your words, images, recordings, feelings, and thoughts are safe with me.


If selected, you will be compensated in wetness, excitement, hunger, need, thoughts, words, orgasms, exploration, learning, and satisfaction. In abundance.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Wicked Wednesday

* I hate titles. “Dominant” is an adjective that, unquestionably, describes me. I don’t, actually, think the noun “dom” (or “Dom”) does. I’m much more interested in submissive women than in subs. Which isn’t to say that if you think yourself a sub you shouldn’t apply; it’s to say, I’m interested in how you are a sub, rather than in some Platonic ideal or textbook definition of “submissive.”


  1. I guess this is exactly what I am to Sir…a distant buddy, but the connection is so real, so deep that it feels like more. I hope that you find that someone that can razzle your berries from afar.

  2. It’s good to read something of you again, and to see you on Wicked Wednesday – thank you for that!
    I hope you find the special lady you are looking for 🙂
    ~ Marie

  3. Pingback: e[lust] 133: find other rad sex bloggers! - Super Smash Cache

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