These are some tough questions I’ve been pondering that, surely, will be coming….
Dad, did you ever cheat on Mom?
Dad, did Mom ever cheat on you?
Dad, did you ever use a prostitute?
Dad, did you ever suffer from addiction?
Dad, did you and Mom ever think about getting divorced?
I don’t know how to answer these questions, honestly.
I expect to work on them in the coming days. I’d like to be prepared.
Why do you have so many tough questions about your parents?
They’re not for my parents. They’re for me, as a parent.
(Incidentally, I’ve come to know the answers to all of them for my parents.)
I found out my dad (Almost100% sure) cheated on my mom. And my mom on my dad. No big deal for me because I knew they were unhappy. At least my mom was. Seeing my stepfather being a good husband makes me happy. Makes me smile. I know my mom is very happy with him and wouldn’t dream of chaeating on him so yeah. When you’re a kid you’re happy if you see that your parents are happy (together and apart).
Yeah – I just wonder how the words will go….
I have been pondering the same thing(s) for a while.
Plus, having teenagers at home, a few others, amongst which : how did you know that he was the man you wanted to marry?
Tough to figure out how to answer when you yourself don’t have all the answers, or are not happy with the ones you have!
And for me, the questions might come sooner than for you…
Maybe. Though mine feel like they’re barreling at me. I can’t imagine we’ll make it to the teen years without confronting them.
But if you answer truthfully, your kid will be able to hear whatever it is that you need to tell them.
A great thing a friend of mine did (probably still does) : sometimes kids ask questions they’re just not ready yet to hear the answer to. So she’d always ask back : “do you really want to know?” to any “difficult” question. I witnessed it first hand, and was amazed to see that this was enough for the child to realise the answer coming might be difficult, and whether they were ready to deal with it. In the case I think of (Mom, why is C so sad?), the child realised she just wasn’t ready to hear the grown up answer and said that actually, no, she didn’t want to know. Knowing I was sad, or having her feeling that I was sad confirmed, was enough for her that day.
I sometimes do that to, but it works better with grownups than with kids.