May 292013
 

The scene: a weekend away with friends, and friends of friends. Three couples, five kids. Bikes, mopeds, puzzles, games. Grilling chicken, eating shellfish. Drinking too much, staying up too late. General relaxed, fun, never serious conversation.

Apropos of nothing, Sarah, a sexy, petite, exotic mom brings up to all the assembled adults (two-year-old on her knee) the “rampant swinging” in our neighborhood. Apparently, a lesbian mom let her in on all the juicy details at a recent (fifth) birthday party. “Everyone,” she assured us, “is doing it.”

“Did you know,” she asked breathlessly, “that they just leave their keys in one another’s mailboxes, and if you get someone’s keys, then you have to go, you know, have sex with them?!?”

“You have to?” I asked.

“Oh yeah.”

“But what if you don’t want to?”

“Well that’s kind of one of the rules.”

“Wow. What are the other rules?”

“Well, she told me about a man and a woman, both married to others, who had an affair. THAT was totally against the rules.”

“It was?”

“Well yeah,” she explained, as if it were obvious. “This is just about sex, so if it’s anything else, then you’re breaking the rules.”

“Oh.”

I thought for a moment. “You realize she was inviting you, don’t you?”

“Oh no,” she protested, outraged, incredulous.

“But surely one of the rules is that you don’t talk about the rules with someone who’s not in the club?”

She thought about that.

“Wait!” I said. “You’re inviting us!”

Um. No. The mirth (and cluelessness) made it clear. We were gossiping, not flirting.

Too bad. She’s cute.

  50 Responses to “On the swingset”

  1. lol. thank you for the laugh!

  2. Some people really have absolutely no idea!!!!

    • For a moment, I found myself wondering if there was even an inkling of truth in Sarah’s story, but I concluded there’s really not. It’s just MILFs gossiping. Too bad. I had another thought, though, which is that I should have a key made up and drop it in her mailbox.

  3. I would say welcome to the club…lol
    Fun write and oh the intrigue and gossip of the urban world.

  4. Oh, that made me chuckle. Thank you.

    Rachel x

  5. Fun story! Too bad for the guy. He was sooo close. I bet it’s true someplaces but not in my quiet, thankfully, corner of suburbia.

  6. Won’t totally discount such thing can happen!

  7. So funny, and she was clueless as well on who she was talking to. Gossip never ceases to amaze me, and it’s odd how often what is being discussed is what I approve of or do.

  8. That is an interesting concept, and I would actually love to be part of something like that ;)

    Rebel xox

  9. How fascinating!! Love a bit of gossip!!

    ~Mia~ xx

  10. Oh – I love this, Sugar! ;)

  11. I’ve had my own version of this, involving “those freaks that whip each other.” It was amusing to be told all about what “kink is” by someone like that.

    Your response “You’re being invited,” just made me giggle.

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  40. Funny writing… and loved how you handled it!

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