I’ve written before about breasts. I like them.
I like them big, I like them small. I like them right in the middle.
The size is never what appeals to me about breasts. What I care about is shape, and texture. I can’t stand silicone. Or saline. I want your breasts to be your breasts. Not the breasts a doctor gave you.
I’ve been wondering about why that is, what it is about fake breasts that turns me off so. At the concrete level, it’s very simple. I don’t like the look of enhanced breasts. I don’t like the scars, don’t like the rigidity, the artificial-appearing solidity of them, the way they tend to stretch against the flesh, and to move just a bit less than they might otherwise.
But being me, I assume those are just the manifestations of the real reasons I don’t like enhanced breasts. I’m not sure, though, what those real reasons are.
A couple of possibilities occur to me:
- There’s something about the assertion of a woman’s sexuality in the procurement of enhancement that is intimidating to me, that I experience almost as a form of aggression.
- There’s something about the artificiality of them that bothers me. About fake-ness, the sense that what’s before me is in some way a ruse.
- Related to 1, almost by definition, a woman who enhanced her breasts did not do so for me. She did so either for herself, or for all men. And I don’t like being “all men.” I want you for myself, I want your manifestations of your sexuality – at least in my presence – to be all about me.
Those are just the thoughts that come immediately to mind. Do you have any thoughts?
Two thoughts came to mind.
First, was that it’s good to not only know what you like and why but that you able to explain it to others.
Second, was a little bit of sadness. I have breast implants. I got them for me, no one else, not my husband as he liked them as they were but supported me in my decision. Your post was a reminder of why I got them to begin with, which was to feel more like a woman. I had beautiful natural breasts once and then I had kids and they became misshaped, they shrunk, they deflated, they felt foreign. My body was unbalanced and I no longer felt feminine because of these foreign things on my chest. It wasn’t a decision I made on a whim, I waited 20 years after having my first child to fill them back up. My enhancement, was not excessive, I didn’t want porn star boobs. I wanted them to look as natural as possible. Why the sadness? Well, I agree with you and I’d love to have my own breasts back. I’d love for them to be scar free, swing just right, feel like, look like they once did…
Ugh. I’m so sorry to have inspired sadness. I totally understand the reasons that inspired your decision, and I’m so sorry to hear that, today at least, you’d “love to have [your] own breasts back.” That’s a shitty way to feel. 🙁
N.
I think I feel a bit like you. I think having surgery on one’s breasts (unless following a mastectomy for medical reasons) is a bit like feeling not good enough and using a ruse to cover it up.
I don’t think I’ve ever touched surgically enhanced breasts, but I don’t generally like the look of them, especially the ones that are too big, or much bigger than they ever were, for all the reasons you describe here.
And I too am really sad reading ‘Tis’ comment.
My ex asked me a few times whether I’d like to have surgery on my breasts. I managed to say know. In the end, he admitted that it was my last redeeming feature. I know, not the best thing to say to a woman when you’re trying to save your marriage, but… at least he was recognising that my breasts aren’t that bad as they are.
He also asked me why I wouldn’t have surgery to my eyes, to correct my vision. I always replied that I had had enough surgeries as is, if one wasn’t medically necessary, I’d rather forgo it. Maybe I’m just a bit of a coward, afraid that the surgery will fail, or that I won’t like the result? I’m not sure. I guess I’m also afraid to lose sensation in them. I’ve only recently discovered how much fun can be had just from my breasts… I’d hate to see that go!
So I guess I’ll stick with what mother Nature gave me.