You know it – it’s that “optional” comma at the end of a list.  “I went to the bar last night with Jim, John, and Sue.”  It’s that comma between “John” and “and.”

There’s not a “correct” answer as to whether it’s required.  Generally, as I understand it, the comma is optional, and its usage is a stylistic, rather than a grammatical, question.  But it’s a stylistic question about which people have quite strong feelings.  Feelings that, for the most part, they take very seriously.

And some friends and I have something of a hypothesis:  the Oxford comma is, in fact, the closest thing to a “secret handshake” those of us in the “monogamish” club have.  If you see mention of it in an OKCupid profile?  Chances are, that’s a person who’s a swinger, poly, or otherwise monogamish.  At a party?  If someone brings it up?  Likely she’s fair game for an advance, even if her husband is with her.

Have you noticed this?  Are we alone in this?