Vulnerability

My fellow humans disappoint me. Unspeakable violence reverberates. The world is made badly.

I find myself needing something I’m not accustomed to needing.

I am a dominant male sex blogger. I am polite, respectful, and demanding. Get to know me.

I want to go down on Ivy. Seriously.

Sometimes, I hold back when I write. Or, I don’t write, out of holding back.

I promise to be different. I promise to be unique. I promise not to repeat things other people say.

I’m reflecting on how shame has shaped my life and my blog since 2010 — from the radical openness I once had in writing about my most uncomfortable impulses, to the self-judgment and contempt that have crept back in now that I’m less anonymous and less self-accepting.