Sex addiction

I don’t believe you can be addicted to sex. But I had a relationship to it that sure looked a lot like addiction.

Standing on a street corner, waiting for a woman who would never come, I finally saw just how far I’d fallen.

A field guide to the various twelve-step fellowships for sex addiction — their bottom lines, their rigidities, and their surprising nuances.

My problem was never sex. It was the elaborate edifice of deceit I constructed around it.

Recovery got me sober, but sobriety wasn’t quite the point.

Not looking at beauty made me think about it far more than looking at it ever did.

Shakespeare got something about lust that Steve McQueen didn’t.

I have known monsters. They’re good, decent, kind, loving people.

I radiate not just pleasure but craving, not just pursuit but drivenness — and that can be a little scary.

For me, transgression has never been the point. If anything, it’s a damper on my joy.