Abandonment

Listening to Charlotte’s pleasure.

Another part of my mother’s abandonment of me, of my loss of safety.

How I use Charlotte to revisit my painful past. Not her fault, but….

It’s really easy to step away from me in a way that won’t hurt me. Please – don’t hurt me.

Making myself comfortable in the face of loss and abandonment.

Charlotte’s leaving me – at least for an evening. And, good girl that she is, she’s taking care of me in her absence. But it’s NOT easy.

In which I’m stood up by a woman I’ve yet to meet.

Fumbling our way forward, Charlotte and I….

I fly toward flames — jealousy, rejection, abandonment — and then wonder why I’m singed. Charlotte and I are working out the terms of our burning.

Poor decision-making on my part.