Oct 242014

Among the things adults need to talk to kids about is, for better or worse, how to interact with police. Kids, teens, adolescents often experiment with authority, challenging it, rejecting it, respecting it. I’m white. My son is white. That makes this conversation somewhat less complicated, at least as regards him, but it’s important nonetheless. […]

Oct 132014

I’ve been writing about “the talk,” and a reader sent me a link to Hersake.com. It seems like their goal is to be a sort of repository for videos of women talking about, and demonstrating, their masturbatory and sexual techniques. It’s explicitly conceived of as educational, not pornographic, and the sample video they’ve posted, though […]

Oct 022014

I hate this word. It implies that one person is letting another do something to her or him. It perpetuates the construction of sex as something that women give to men, that girls let boys have. Don’t get me wrong. The point of consent – that in any sexual encounter between two or more people, […]

Oct 012014

I’ve written a bunch in recent days about “the talk.” When most people imagine “the talk,” I think we picture one or two parents awkwardly subjecting a pre-teen or teen to ham-handed and unwelcome parental admonitions and explanations about sex. This is not, at all, what I have in mind. In my house, to my […]

Sep 302014

I’ve been writing about the topic of talking about sex with kids, and it occurs to me, porn is kind of a subject unto itself. In one post recommended to me on The Good Men Project, Andrew Smiler, the author, wrote “porn is about as realistic as an unscripted ‘reality’ TV show and as healthy […]

Sep 292014

No one ever had “the talk” with me. My parents were, in many ways, quite up front and comfortable with sex and sexuality. In others, not so much. Early on, I knew the basic mechanics of penis-in-vagina sex. (A good friend and I made a fair sum from our second-grade classmates by winning a bet […]