Jan 012013

In my New Year’s Resolution post a year ago, and again yesterday, I mentioned “high-concept swinging” as a goal. A couple of readers asked just what I meant by that. Sorry – I was talking to myself when I wrote it, imagining you would know exactly what I meant when what I mean isn’t at […]

Dec 182012

There’s a little “open relationship mini-quiz” that’s been making the internet rounds lately. It showed up here, and here. I thought I’d tackle it as well for your reading pleasure. 1. What insight about open relationships do you wish you had when you started? 2. What has been the hardest thing about opening your relationship, […]

Nov 282012
Polyamory and swinging

Dan Savage wrote a column last week arguing, forcefully, that polyamory isn’t a sexual orientation. This seems to me akin to “presenting both sides of the evolution debate,” granting some basic structural plausibility to a ridiculous assertion, the mere speaking aloud of which grants it more legitimacy than it ever should enjoy. Rather than add my […]

Nov 012012

One of the challenges of swinging, or polyamory, or non-monogamy, or monogamish-ness, is the simple impossibility of symmetry. I just started to write a post on the subject – about how sometimes T gets more of what she wants than I do; sometimes, it’s the other way around. About how, on any given night in […]

Oct 172012
Something familiar, part 2

Continuation of this post, featuring Jen and Mara. So back we went – we picked up our clothes and shuffled out of the dark little room in which we’d begun fucking and sucking and licking one another. Mara apologized to me: “I felt sort of bad, fucking him before we’ve even fucked – it’s sort […]