Nov 282012
Polyamory and swinging

Dan Savage wrote a column last week arguing, forcefully, that polyamory isn’t a sexual orientation. This seems to me akin to “presenting both sides of the evolution debate,” granting some basic structural plausibility to a ridiculous assertion, the mere speaking aloud of which grants it more legitimacy than it ever should enjoy. Rather than add my […]

Nov 012012

One of the challenges of swinging, or polyamory, or non-monogamy, or monogamish-ness, is the simple impossibility of symmetry. I just started to write a post on the subject – about how sometimes T gets more of what she wants than I do; sometimes, it’s the other way around. About how, on any given night in […]

Sep 012012

We walked out of the timeless space of the strip club, into the busy streets. Fifteen blocks later, we arrived at the hotel. “Ooh, fancy!” you said. “Only the best for you,” I joked. Our first tryst had been at a seedy hourly place. I checked us in and got two keys. I handed you […]

Jul 242012

Last night, T had a date. I stayed home, cooked dinner, did chores, hung out with our son, read (Can Love Last, by Stephen Mitchell – I’m reading it for the second time), meditated, and fell asleep. As I meditated, I noticed the intense envy I was feeling of T. Envy’s not a pretty emotion. […]

Jul 022012

Swinger Poly Slut Kinkster What am I? Recently, I’ve been asked a few times to slot myself into one or the other of the categories above.  But none calls out to me. Week Bi Week had a post recently lamenting some aspects of “swinger culture.” I second all her complaints – the presumption of female […]

Jun 162012
The Oxford Comma

You know it – it’s that “optional” comma at the end of a list.  “I went to the bar last night with Jim, John, and Sue.”  It’s that comma between “John” and “and.” There’s not a “correct” answer as to whether it’s required.  Generally, as I understand it, the comma is optional, and its usage […]

Jun 142012

The other night, I went to an event called “Poly Cocktails,” downstairs at a bar called “affaire.” I know it was downstairs, because upstairs, there was a campaign event for Corrine Narrasiguin, the socialist candidate to represent French citizens living in North America to the French National Assembly. I listened to her talk for a […]

Jun 132012
On being a slut

Definitions: Slut: a person who sleeps with more people than I do. Slut: a person who sleeps with my friends, but not with me. Slut: a person who sleeps with more people than most. What’s your definition? Up above, on the banner of this site, I proclaim myself “Husband, father, slut….” But am I a […]