I’ve written about this topic before, at least two times , but now’s a good time, again. One of the odd features of my sexuality, of my psyche, is that I have an insatiable hunger not just for sex, or for feeling desire/d, but for the complexification of that desire, for its refractory multiplication. I don’t [...]
There’s a little “open relationship mini-quiz” that’s been making the internet rounds lately. It showed up here, and here. I thought I’d tackle it as well for your reading pleasure. 1. What insight about open relationships do you wish you had when you started? 2. What has been the hardest thing about opening your relationship, [...]
Dan Savage wrote a column last week arguing, forcefully, that polyamory isn’t a sexual orientation. This seems to me akin to “presenting both sides of the evolution debate,” granting some basic structural plausibility to a ridiculous assertion, the mere speaking aloud of which grants it more legitimacy than it ever should enjoy. Rather than add my [...]
One of the challenges of swinging, or polyamory, or non-monogamy, or monogamish-ness, is the simple impossibility of symmetry. I just started to write a post on the subject – about how sometimes T gets more of what she wants than I do; sometimes, it’s the other way around. About how, on any given night in [...]
We walked out of the timeless space of the strip club, into the busy streets. Fifteen blocks later, we arrived at the hotel. “Ooh, fancy!” you said. “Only the best for you,” I joked. Our first tryst had been at a seedy hourly place. I checked us in and got two keys. I handed you [...]
In her words…. i was so excited for this date i love the elaborate construct “arrive here and wait for my text” i am happy to be somebodys plaything and make decisions so i show up and im wearing this dress without a bra (which feels pretty outrageous but probably doesnt look as ourageous as [...]
We walked into the dark bar. Neither of us was feeling especially revved for the date. We weren’t at our best. Still…. T looked phenomenal in a striped maxi-dress from American Apparel. I was in my usual jeans and t-shirt, my head shiny, my beard trimmed. The front room was mostly empty, save the lone [...]
Last night, T had a date. I stayed home, cooked dinner, did chores, hung out with our son, read (Can Love Last, by Stephen Mitchell – I’m reading it for the second time), meditated, and fell asleep. As I meditated, I noticed the intense envy I was feeling of T. Envy’s not a pretty emotion. [...]
Swinger Poly Slut Kinkster What am I? Recently, I’ve been asked a few times to slot myself into one or the other of the categories above. But none calls out to me. Week Bi Week had a post recently lamenting some aspects of “swinger culture.” I second all her complaints – the presumption of female [...]
You know it – it’s that “optional” comma at the end of a list. ”I went to the bar last night with Jim, John, and Sue.” It’s that comma between “John” and “and.” There’s not a “correct” answer as to whether it’s required. Generally, as I understand it, the comma is optional, and its usage [...]
