I’m an attention whore. I really like attention. Also, things, ideas, suggestions, stuff.
How I relate to how I’m perceived.
In another corner of my life, I’ve been reminded, recently, how gratifying it is for me when others approve of me, or, better yet, think highly of me. This is especially true of people I find attractive, whether intellectually, professionally, conversationally, romantically, or sexually. But honestly, anyone’s approval will do. When I receive approval, or […]
“You really are difficult,” Sofia wrote to me. She’s right, of course. We were talking about how I respond to the sensation of being desired.
The other day, my post on gangbangs (or “handbags,” as my phone really wants me to say) was mentioned in passing in this article by Zhana Vrangalova. Seriously, it was in passing. Like, in an aside, two-thirds of the way (three-quarters of the way) through a long article. She was nice to me. She quoted […]
I was rejected today. Not by a woman, but in a completely non-sexual, comprehensive, totalizing – and damning – way. It’s striking to me – not new(s), but still striking – how powerful is my reflex in an instance like this. Longtime readers can probably guess just what it is that the news made me […]
As I’ve written previously, one way of understanding narcissism isn’t as “incessant, adoring self-regard,” but instead, as “the centrality of the regulation of self-esteem in the conduct of one’s life.” This is me. I emerged into adulthood with the twin convictions that I’m worthless/undesirable, and that the only way that could be disproved would be […]
Who are you? During a recent 24-hour period, almost 20% of my visits were by very frequent readers, people who return over and over to this blog. Evidently, what I write consistently interests, or arouses, or pisses off, these folks. People from all over the world, and close to home. Each of the towns or […]
I just went back and re-read some of the posts in the “My Story” section of this blog. If you haven’t read those posts, you really should, just because they do a pretty comprehensive, if not exactly linear, job of laying out just who I am, how I live my life, and how it is […]
A loyal reader (and awesome fellatrix) recently wrote, in response to this post: *This* is why I keep coming back. I love the endless self reflection, the unpacking. Sex is the lens or the journey, its really about your brain, your fascination with *why* you tick the way you do. Or at least thats *my* […]