Dec 312013

I spend a lot of time thinking about the future. When I meditate (and other times, too) I sit. I follow my breath. And if I’m paying attention, I notice when my thoughts turn away from my breath. Sometimes, they turn to some other aspect of my momentary experience: my shoulder hurts, my foot’s asleep. […]

Sep 082013

Part 2: Buying a pack Down that vortex, I’ve made whatever compromises with myself I need to cross the threshold, to buy the pack. This part of the process is unpleasant all around. Except for the impending fulfillment. As I approach the vendor, I feel shame and embarrassment. I’m one of those people, those people […]

Aug 302013

Part I: Craving I began this post, “I found myself wanting…” but I realized that “wanting” is an entirely amorphous state, a way of articulating a mental and bodily phenomenon that obscures, rather than reveals, its own essence. The question is, how do I know that I want, what is wanting? There are, for me, […]

Aug 222013

Ok. I’m sitting here. I’m not sure if I got my feet in a good position. My ankle feels like it’s pressing against the floor a little hard. Ow. Shit. I should have gotten my position straight before I started the timer. Oh well. It shouldn’t be too bad. Let me start paying attention to […]

Aug 132013

V observed I haven’t written much lately. Partly, that’s circumstantial. The summer (and it’s summer here in the northern hemisphere) presents scheduling challenges that are different than those presented by the rest of the year, and I’m less adept at managing them. Partly, though, it’s temperamental. I’ve been noticing that I’m a bit… down. Well, […]

Jul 202013

I wrote, recently, about a complicated and interesting (to me, at least) night at a sex party. A reader asked me, in an e-mail, if I had “enjoyed” myself at the party, and it got me to thinking. Part of why I started writing this blog, a big part of what keeps me writing it, […]

Jun 132013

I often mention it as an aside, and readers often ask me about it, both in the comments and, more often, in e-mails. So here’s a little run-down on what meditation is for me, how I do it, what I do, and how I think about it. When I began meditating, I found it nearly […]