Jun 052015

Over a year ago, I posted Esther Perel’s first TED Talk, in which she hyped her terrific book, Mating in Captivity. Recently, TED posted a second talk of hers, this one entitled “Rethinking Infidelity.” It’s another great talk, in which she declines to demonize anyone or anything, and simply engages, non-judgmentally, compassionately, with a few […]

Jan 312015

She is. I’m married to her. Have been for quite some time now. We’ve been through the wars. Hell, I put us through the wars. (Though sometimes I wonder if this is the right construction, if it’s ever right in the context of a marriage to blame one person for anything – I have a […]

Jan 032015

We have some sacred cows – beliefs that are so sacrosanct that we simply presume everyone shares them. Sometimes it feels like “progress” is the gradual elimination of those sacred cows. (Women’s suffrage, civil rights, marriage equality, rampant agnosticism all feel like “progress” to most of us.) I’m actually mostly agnostic on the question of […]

Jun 022014

“How do you do it with everyone else?” she asked. “Huh? What do you mean?” I replied. “Make plans. Have sex with people.” “I don’t very often.” At this point, I explained both that it’s been quite a while since I had any regular sex with anyone other than my wife, and that even when […]

May 182014

“We’re getting married. We haven’t set a date yet, but it’s more than a year off. Do you have any advice?” I have lots of advice. For this sexy young bartender, in particular, I’d say: 1) You really really should suck my cock before you stop sucking other guys’ cocks, if you haven’t already. If […]