Aug 112015

There’s a piece in the Times magazine by Elizabeth Gilbert, she of Eat, Pray, Love. The title of the piece is “Confessions of a Seduction Addict.” Close readers of this blog may remember that EPL had a pretty profound effect on me, that it helped me kick-start my meditation practice. I didn’t love EPL – […]

Feb 112015
Fantasies about my fantasy

I’m imagining my core fantasy. First, what will you all wear? A sea of women…. Allie? Eva? The Historian? Isabel? L? Luna? Maxie? P? Penelope? The Rockette? Rose? Sadie? Sofia?!? Tamora? Veronique? You? (Those names – including yours – are in alphabetical order, lest you imagine you discern some other rationale….) In my fantasy, it’s […]

Jan 232015

There are devotees of The Ethical Slut who are militantly opposed to dishonesty anywhere in or among relationships among the poly world. There’s often a judginess that accompanies this that rubs me wrong. I wrote, almost three years ago, about a date I’d gone on with a woman who wouldn’t fuck me because, at the […]

Jul 292014

But not with me. L, you may recall, was the impetus behind this blog. When I first started writing it, she and I were something of an item. That was almost exactly three years ago. In the time since then, our little affair ran its course, but we’ve remained good friends. We typically meet for […]

Nov 202013
Thoughts on what feels good (getting vs. having #3,245)

Over the last couple of years, I’ve had two connections – with L and with V – that have been unlike anything previous in my life. (The relationship I had with the Historian was similar, structurally, though it was shorter, less intense, less comprehensive.) These were connections with women who submitted to me gleefully, who […]

Aug 272013

I was talking the other day with a good friend. She’s not submissive. She likes to be bossed around, told what to do. But she likes to say “no” as much as she likes to say “yes,” and she doesn’t get any particular pleasure out of the act of submission. I think, on the other […]

Feb 082013

If you’ve spent a lot of time in therapy (or maybe just if you pay attention to yourself a lot), you’re familiar with the following phenomenon: the situations, relationships, behaviors, which you tell yourself you most want to avoid, you most fear, dislike, etc., are, seemingly coincidentally, the things toward which you most frequently gravitate. […]