May 022013
Early porn, part 1

The very first porn I remember seeing was in a friend’s “clubhouse.” Ironically, the magazine was a “Club.” This friend was notable primarily for his insistence that, though his birthday was November 1, his real birthday was October 31, but his mom had had him “pushed back in” so that he wouldn’t have Halloween for […]

Mar 212012

This post continues a series of posts I’ve been writing about my descent into depravity, my loss of control over my sexuality.  It begins with my origin myth, told here and here (and here), and continues with my first lap dances.  In this post, I write about my first “sensual massage.”  I’ve written a bit […]

Mar 192012

I was seventeen.  She was twenty-two.  We worked together.  Her boyfriend was my dad’s boss’s son.  (You may read that twice.)  He was twenty-five.  Big.  Tough.  A college football player.  I was scrawny, small.  They were fighting.  We were all at a party.  Drinking.  Heavily. Somehow, she and I were against a sink, kissing wildly.  […]