May 032018

I sat at the bar. Ten seats away sat a woman with whom I had made out, one time. I hadn’t seen her in the months since that one time. Several men surrounded her, clamoring for her attention. Jealousy surged through my veins, pulsing, throbbing. I called her names (in my head). I called the […]

Jan 232015

There are devotees of The Ethical Slut who are militantly opposed to dishonesty anywhere in or among relationships among the poly world. There’s often a judginess that accompanies this that rubs me wrong. I wrote, almost three years ago, about a date I’d gone on with a woman who wouldn’t fuck me because, at the […]

Jul 292014

But not with me. L, you may recall, was the impetus behind this blog. When I first started writing it, she and I were something of an item. That was almost exactly three years ago. In the time since then, our little affair ran its course, but we’ve remained good friends. We typically meet for […]

Jun 262014

“There is no such thing as sexual competition, there is only the continual coming to terms with the fact that one can never be someone else…. Our rivals are merely other people. They are helpless, like us, because they only have one real advantage over us, and it is always decisive. They will never be […]

Jul 082013

I like women. A lot. Maybe too much. I like seeing them, discovering them, talking to them, getting to know them, looking at them, touching them, feeling them touch me, using them sexually, giving them pleasure, taking pleasure from them. I like objectifying them, appreciating them, worshipping them. Licking them, fingering them, tasting them, fucking […]

Jul 242012

Last night, T had a date. I stayed home, cooked dinner, did chores, hung out with our son, read (Can Love Last, by Stephen Mitchell – I’m reading it for the second time), meditated, and fell asleep. As I meditated, I noticed the intense envy I was feeling of T. Envy’s not a pretty emotion. […]

Jan 042012
Jealousy and envy

“Jealousy” is what I feel when someone – someone whom I fear I may lose – wants something other than me (and thus exposes me to the fear that I may lose her or him).  “Envy” is what I feel when someone else gets something I want. We (or at least many of us) often […]