Apr 242014
 

I’ve never thought of myself as arrogant. I’ve thought that, like far too many men, I have the distasteful habit of speaking authoritatively, of ending sentences with downward intonation, of implying certainty, knowledge, when curiosity and openness might be more… appropriate. I’ve always understood this as almost vestigial, a sort of leftover bit of detritus […]

Mar 292014
 

As I’ve written previously, one way of understanding narcissism isn’t as “incessant, adoring self-regard,” but instead, as “the centrality of the regulation of self-esteem in the conduct of one’s life.” This is me. I emerged into adulthood with the twin convictions that I’m worthless/undesirable, and that the only way that could be disproved would be […]

Mar 282014
 

Arrogance is in the eye of the beholder. Regardless of what the dictionary says, if you think me arrogant, there’s no meaningful objection I can, or should, offer. Someone who knows me well said, basically, “maybe your acute intelligence and impatience for fools and assholes were mistaken for arrogance.”

Mar 262014
 
Arrogance and confidence

I was recently told that I’m arrogant. Never mind the circumstances, except to say that, for a variety of reasons, regardless of what I actually think, circumstances demanded that I accept the premise, and apologize for my arrogance. My gut response, though, was, “I’m not arrogant. I’m confident. And sometimes, confidence is misread, particularly by […]